I was innocently jaywalking and freezing my ass off today because I lost my fur earmuffs, when I saw a man with a real live mullet living on his skull. He might as well have been mugging an old lady.
Or pickpocketing.
Or peeing on a parking meter.
There is no greater offense than the mullet. I had to immediately go and look at aggressively chic thin hungry people dripping couture and diamonds on Madison Avenue just to balance out the bad vibes.
I used the word "vibes". How many cool points do I get?
Molly, you're making me all hippie-friendly.
Groovy.
Here's a picture of a mullet. Shield your eyes.
My family used to have magnets shaped like the different varieties of mullet. They were damn funny, and they lived on the fridge, and I wish we still had them.
AWESOME! I found a picture of them on google!
My special favorite is the "Kentucky Waterfall". What's yours? Collect all five! Trade with your friends!
Mullet magnets could be the new Pokemon cards.
P.S. Go to youtube and look for the guys singing the pokemon song. You won't be sorry.
CURRENT ATTIRE- Having a moment of wanton indulgence. Again. Silk robe, pajama pants, crocheted tank top (it sounds fugly. and actually, it is. why do I own it?), slippers, and my pretty new perfume. I can't pronounce the name of it. It's Japanese. It's nice.
SIGHTINGS- scissors might beat paper, rock might beat scissors, but mullet, my friends, beats rock and paper and scissors. Ain't nothing that can top the mullet, so why even try?
