Yes, it's that magical time of the year when I'm bored off my ass and need to entertain myself, so I've been watching veritable STACKS of movies (and ingesting far more overly buttered popcorn than is good for me, but that's neither here nor there).
I'm not using Netflix because I'm against them on principle (don't ask. I feel like they're pushing Blockbuster out of the competition and I love Blockbuster and I am fiercely loyal, even to stupid things like movie-rental systems. I told you not to ask), so instead I'm ducking out to Blockbuster every three minutes and relying on my lovely HBO Movies On Demand and movie channels.
After extensive research, I have compiled The List Of Completely Brilliant and Amazing Movie Quotes Which Should Be Commemorated Through Away-Messages Or Something Of The Like Until The End Of Time*
*= just because I've selected a quote from a certain movie, doesn't necessarily mean that the movie isn't total crap. It just means that it had a rare moment of brilliance.
THE LIST OF COMPLETELY BRILLIANT AND AMAZING MOVIE QUOTES WHICH SHOULD BE COMMEMORATED THROUGH AWAY-MESSAGES OR SOMETHING OF THE LIKE UNTIL THE END OF TIME, IN NO APPARENT ORDER
1. Heather Chandler: Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87.
There are so many good quotes from Heathers- "I love my dead gay son," "You're beautiful", etc. This one just might be my favorite, though.
2. Baron St. Fontanel: A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.
3. Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Andrew Clark: Who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.
It was TORTURE to have to pick just one quote from The Breakfast Club. TORTURE. Honorable mention- the "Smoke up, Johnny" quote.
4. Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!
Every time I watch this scene I laugh so hard that I think my neighbors would actually be concerned about the state of my health if they weren't busy having extremely loud parties that go on until all hours of the night. Which usually I'm cool with, as they play good music, but the night before my finals it wears a little thin and I'm forced to throw shoes at the wall and scream "TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC!" like a little old lady with cats and headscarves.
5. Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
I didn't use "We'll always have Paris" because I thought it would be too cliche. But... we'll always have Paris.
6. Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.
Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.
7. Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.
It's actually too funny. Can something be too funny? I should not like this movie. It is idiotic. But it is also amazing. Which is why I used not one but TWO quotes from it.
8. Atticus Finch: If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
I know that technically, any quote from the movie is REALLY a quote from the book. But is this list called List Of Amazing Quotes From Books? No, it is called the List Of Completely Brilliant And Amazing Movie Quotes Which Should Be Commemorated Through Away-Messages Or Something Of The Like Until The End Of Time. So there you go. This movie stars Gregory Peck and is amazing- not half as amazing as the book, but still amazing.
9. Margot: You probably don't even known my middle name.
Royal: That's a trick question. You don't have one.
Ah, the Tenenbaums. I really wanted to use "I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Ritchie," as that has always been my favorite quote from this movie, besides this one, but since it's the tagline for Touche19's blog I didn't want to be all plagiaristic and whatnot. This quote makes me laugh, though. For real, Royal Tenenbaum is the perfect deadbeat dad. "This is my adopted daughter, Margo Tenenbaum." It's funny 'cause it's wrong. To paraphrase Eli, I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum too. And no, it is not sad how well I know this movie. Tidbit- the hawk from this movie once came to speak at my school! Well, its handler did. The guy was telling us how the hawk was used in many movies such as The Royal Tenenbaums, and I totally freaked out. I should mention that this was in fourth grade. Why had I seen The Royal Tenebaums in fourth grade? I'm messed-up. Is it really any wonder that I'm so weird?
9. Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Cameron: Yeah, but to do what?
Sloane: What are you interested in?
Sloane: Me neither!
Isn't teen apathy awesome?. Honorable mention- "When Cameron was in Egypt's land...let my Camerons gooooo!" and "Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?..." I know it's not technically a quote, but...shut up. It's a quote! YOU'RE a quote. Why am I still talking?
10. Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.
EXTRA-SPECIAL BONUS- Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
Yeah, so my last quote and my bonus quote were from Pretty Woman. Shush. Be silent. You love this movie. And whether ye be young, old, short, tall, man or woman, you know you watch it every time it comes on cable. So says the Gospel According To Julia Roberts.
And if you don't, you should, you tool. I really tried to find a picture of the scene where Vivian gives hell to the evil blond bitch at the fancy store and walks out all fancy and la-di-da and awesome, but I couldn't.
Did I leave any quintessential amazing movie quotes out? I mean, I know I did, after all I could only fit ten on this list plus a bonus, but feel free to comment and berate me for leaving out fill-in-the-blank-movie-quote.
SIGHTINGS- Oh, wow. So many glories, so little time. This girl outside of the Sleep Store on Broadway was wearing a decidedly awesome knee-length coatdress printed with words in some foreign language- it looked like Japanese, but I could be wrong and probably am. A guy in Saigon Grill wearing wing-tip shoes, which for some reason charmed me A LOT. Another guy somewhere downtown (I forget the exact coordinates, so sue me) in a ridiculously awesome houndstooth blazer that could be from some vintage store, or could be from the sale rack at Generic Hipster Store. Either way, it was cool. And I think we all have to admit to shopping at Generic Hipster Store once in a while. Ooh, I saw so many great things at Cool Vintage Store while I've been working there,- it's going great, BTW, thanks to all the nice people who inquired...the other day my sole job was to sort racks of vintage dresses. HEAVEN-SENT- not actually ON people's bodies, but on the racks. For example; a red floor-length stunning Pierre Cardin gown, an AMAZING silk black-and-white flapper dress that I actually think is from the twenties (and I keep hiding it at the back of the store in fear of some bitchy little hipster girl buying it while I'm stil trying to scrape up the money to buy it- remember, I'm not getting paid, so even with my discount it's still like sixty dollars), some awesome green alligator pumps of indeterminate design, a beautiful onyx-and-silver necklace, a fun shirt that is actually not true vintage and is from H&M, but still has some vintage street cred because it's IN a thrift shop, a hot little fuchsia cocktail dress that totally looks like something Jael from ANTM would wear to prom, if she actually deigned to go to something as lame as prom, and about 2874303947 other sartorial delicacies. Sure, my job has its bad points- old men like to come in and perv around while staring at my chest, but that pretty much happens in any job, does it not? The Boob Lady, am I right?- and I have to haul ENORMOUS bags of vintage up stairwells for part of my day, but mostly I love sorting donations, organizing clothes, chatting with customers and hanging with my coworkers, most of whom are really nice.
CURRENT ATTIRE- My favorite hippie summer sundress over a skinny white wifebeater (because it's way too slutty without the tank underneath) with a black velvet blazer with chunky buttons over it. Also, my tried- and-true ballet flats that somehow make my calves look more elongated when I wear skirts, and these , my tried-and-true favorite sunglasses that, unlike most other sunglasses, do not make me look like a. John Lennon, b. Nicole Richie, or c. an idiot. You may notice that b. and c. are kind of redundant. I think later on I'll have to post a picture of this whole outfit modeled by my trusty thrift-store mannequin (I've been practicing making some of my own clothes lately, just little stuff like easy-to-sew shirts, so I needed a mannequin), because it's actually adorable but hard to describe.
CURRENT MUSIC- Samson by Regina Spektor. Of all the songs I've gushed about, I think this one might actually be my favorite. She is just incredible.
Hasta la vista, baby.