Saturday, March 31, 2007

Yes, it's that magical time of the year when I'm bored off my ass and need to entertain myself, so I've been watching veritable STACKS of movies (and ingesting far more overly buttered popcorn than is good for me, but that's neither here nor there).
I'm not using Netflix because I'm against them on principle (don't ask. I feel like they're pushing Blockbuster out of the competition and I love Blockbuster and I am fiercely loyal, even to stupid things like movie-rental systems. I told you not to ask), so instead I'm ducking out to Blockbuster every three minutes and relying on my lovely HBO Movies On Demand and movie channels.

After extensive research, I have compiled The List Of Completely Brilliant and Amazing Movie Quotes Which Should Be Commemorated Through Away-Messages Or Something Of The Like Until The End Of Time*

*= just because I've selected a quote from a certain movie, doesn't necessarily mean that the movie isn't total crap. It just means that it had a rare moment of brilliance.


1. Heather Chandler: Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87.
There are so many good quotes from Heathers- "I love my dead gay son," "You're beautiful", etc. This one just might be my favorite, though.

2. Baron St. Fontanel: A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.

3. Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Andrew Clark: Who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.
It was TORTURE to have to pick just one quote from The Breakfast Club. TORTURE. Honorable mention- the "Smoke up, Johnny" quote.

4. Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!
Every time I watch this scene I laugh so hard that I think my neighbors would actually be concerned about the state of my health if they weren't busy having extremely loud parties that go on until all hours of the night. Which usually I'm cool with, as they play good music, but the night before my finals it wears a little thin and I'm forced to throw shoes at the wall and scream "TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC!" like a little old lady with cats and headscarves.

5. Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
I didn't use "We'll always have Paris" because I thought it would be too cliche. But... we'll always have Paris.

6. Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.
Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.

7. Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

It's actually too funny. Can something be too funny? I should not like this movie. It is idiotic. But it is also amazing. Which is why I used not one but TWO quotes from it.

8. Atticus Finch: If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
I know that technically, any quote from the movie is REALLY a quote from the book. But is this list called List Of Amazing Quotes From Books? No, it is called the List Of Completely Brilliant And Amazing Movie Quotes Which Should Be Commemorated Through Away-Messages Or Something Of The Like Until The End Of Time. So there you go. This movie stars Gregory Peck and is amazing- not half as amazing as the book, but still amazing.

9. Margot: You probably don't even known my middle name.
Royal: That's a trick question. You don't have one.
Margot: Helen.
Royal: Damn.
Ah, the Tenenbaums. I really wanted to use "I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Ritchie," as that has always been my favorite quote from this movie, besides this one, but since it's the tagline for Touche19's blog I didn't want to be all plagiaristic and whatnot. This quote makes me laugh, though. For real, Royal Tenenbaum is the perfect deadbeat dad. "This is my adopted daughter, Margo Tenenbaum." It's funny 'cause it's wrong. To paraphrase Eli, I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum too. And no, it is not sad how well I know this movie. Tidbit- the hawk from this movie once came to speak at my school! Well, its handler did. The guy was telling us how the hawk was used in many movies such as The Royal Tenenbaums, and I totally freaked out. I should mention that this was in fourth grade. Why had I seen The Royal Tenebaums in fourth grade? I'm messed-up. Is it really any wonder that I'm so weird?

9. Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Sloane: College.
Cameron: Yeah, but to do what?
Sloane: What are you interested in?
Cameron: Nothing.
Sloane: Me neither!
Isn't teen apathy awesome?. Honorable mention- "When Cameron was in Egypt's land...let my Camerons gooooo!" and "Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?..." I know it's not technically a quote, but...shut up. It's a quote! YOU'RE a quote. Why am I still talking?

10. Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.

EXTRA-SPECIAL BONUS- Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
Yeah, so my last quote and my bonus quote were from Pretty Woman. Shush. Be silent. You love this movie. And whether ye be young, old, short, tall, man or woman, you know you watch it every time it comes on cable. So says the Gospel According To Julia Roberts.
And if you don't, you should, you tool. I really tried to find a picture of the scene where Vivian gives hell to the evil blond bitch at the fancy store and walks out all fancy and la-di-da and awesome, but I couldn't.

Did I leave any quintessential amazing movie quotes out? I mean, I know I did, after all I could only fit ten on this list plus a bonus, but feel free to comment and berate me for leaving out fill-in-the-blank-movie-quote.

SIGHTINGS- Oh, wow. So many glories, so little time. This girl outside of the Sleep Store on Broadway was wearing a decidedly awesome knee-length coatdress printed with words in some foreign language- it looked like Japanese, but I could be wrong and probably am. A guy in Saigon Grill wearing wing-tip shoes, which for some reason charmed me A LOT. Another guy somewhere downtown (I forget the exact coordinates, so sue me) in a ridiculously awesome houndstooth blazer that could be from some vintage store, or could be from the sale rack at Generic Hipster Store. Either way, it was cool. And I think we all have to admit to shopping at Generic Hipster Store once in a while. Ooh, I saw so many great things at Cool Vintage Store while I've been working there,- it's going great, BTW, thanks to all the nice people who inquired...the other day my sole job was to sort racks of vintage dresses. HEAVEN-SENT- not actually ON people's bodies, but on the racks. For example; a red floor-length stunning Pierre Cardin gown, an AMAZING silk black-and-white flapper dress that I actually think is from the twenties (and I keep hiding it at the back of the store in fear of some bitchy little hipster girl buying it while I'm stil trying to scrape up the money to buy it- remember, I'm not getting paid, so even with my discount it's still like sixty dollars), some awesome green alligator pumps of indeterminate design, a beautiful onyx-and-silver necklace, a fun shirt that is actually not true vintage and is from H&M, but still has some vintage street cred because it's IN a thrift shop, a hot little fuchsia cocktail dress that totally looks like something Jael from ANTM would wear to prom, if she actually deigned to go to something as lame as prom, and about 2874303947 other sartorial delicacies. Sure, my job has its bad points- old men like to come in and perv around while staring at my chest, but that pretty much happens in any job, does it not? The Boob Lady, am I right?- and I have to haul ENORMOUS bags of vintage up stairwells for part of my day, but mostly I love sorting donations, organizing clothes, chatting with customers and hanging with my coworkers, most of whom are really nice.

CURRENT ATTIRE- My favorite hippie summer sundress over a skinny white wifebeater (because it's way too slutty without the tank underneath) with a black velvet blazer with chunky buttons over it. Also, my tried- and-true ballet flats that somehow make my calves look more elongated when I wear skirts, and these , my tried-and-true favorite sunglasses that, unlike most other sunglasses, do not make me look like a. John Lennon, b. Nicole Richie, or c. an idiot. You may notice that b. and c. are kind of redundant. I think later on I'll have to post a picture of this whole outfit modeled by my trusty thrift-store mannequin (I've been practicing making some of my own clothes lately, just little stuff like easy-to-sew shirts, so I needed a mannequin), because it's actually adorable but hard to describe.

CURRENT MUSIC- Samson by Regina Spektor. Of all the songs I've gushed about, I think this one might actually be my favorite. She is just incredible.

Hasta la vista, baby.


-ciao bella- said...

haha- zoolander and anchorman are the two FUNNIEST movies ever! xx

alexgirl said...

I think the Pretty Woman blonde bitch quote is something like, Vivien: "You work on commission, right?" blonde bitch nods. Vivien: "Big mistake. Huge."
HOT DAMN you picked some good quotes. It's eerie how you can read my mind. I burst out laughing just READING the Zoolander quote!
I'd like to add these 2:

"What's she ever done with HER life that's so great?" (Bottle Rocket--Wes Anderson, my HERO!!!)

"What I used to be able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life." (Kicking & Screaming by Noah Baumbach--soooo many good quotes from that movie.)

ps-thanks for getting me hooked on Regina Spektor! She's frigging awesome.

mary said...

i definitely agree with you about samson by regina spektor-- the first time i heard that song i absolutely fell in love with it, and listened to it over and over.q

Regina and Renee said...

good list....haha ben stiller is funny as hell. i<3urblog!!


L. said...

Mugatu = Will Ferrel's best role
Except for Ron Burgundy, his pronunciation of herbs or 'erbs' gets me every single time.

My favourite quote from the Breakfast Club is the hot beef injection one. I'm so childish.

alexgirl said...

Yes, I love Touche19's blog. Esp the post on Wes, the love of my life!
One more quote to add: "I carried a watermelon?" it's a bit obvious, but still...
ps-how long are Grey's and Betty on hiatus? I'm dyin' w/o them.

MOLLY GRAY said...

wow! this was the most special post ever.. i totally enjoyed it.
+molly g.+

L. said...

You have a Russian grandmother? That is so incredibly rad.

Sometimes I'm paranoid that people I know that aren't people I like (so, pretty much everyone) will read my blog and learn my secrets. But as far as my family go, they are still a little bit techno-shy.

stilettoheights said...

this was wonderful to read.

Heathers was based on the town of Westerville OH (in the movie it's Westerberg) I live here in Westerville and the movie is spot on, the town is more ghetto now than it used to be but other than that it is perfect, just perfect.

Meg said...

I heart you.
You have some of my favourite films up there; the royal tenenbaums, Heathers(80s Christian Slater!)and Gregory Peck who is beautiful...though not the way winona does it in Heathers.

I always liked the Consequence of sound and Us most but she's pretty great in general.

"I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too!" The Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life. - Clueless

"Goodbye Mr.Bond" - Pretty much every Bond movie ever

Miss Perky: "I hear you exposed yourself in the cafeteria this morning."
Verona: "I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst."
Miss Perky: "Bratwurst. Aren't we the optimist." - 10 things I hate about you

CountryGirl_CityLife said...

OH I love your list, so rad, so awesome. All great movies! I so wish you could sneak in some pics of the glorious dresses at Cool Vintage Store. Kudos to you for sewing your own skirts, making it yourself, is always cool. Sorry but, netflix is awesome. I can't live without it. You can find such rare foreign gems on there. I think I may have to do a current movie obsession post now.

WAT said...

WELL! Lemme just share on of my all-time favorites shall I?

Hannibal Lecter: "You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI."


kf said...

"fuck me gently with a chainsaw" is my favorite from heathers.

the scene when margo gets off the bus and the song 'these days' by nico is playing is CLASSIC. love it.

you should add some cronenberg to your visual outings--he's my favorite. LONG LIVE THE VIDEODROME.

hellocello said...

omg omg omg "Bueller... Bueller... Bueller..."!!!!!!!!!!! i love love love that movie!!! and i also love even more is The Breakfast Club!!!!!!!!!

(wow arent i repetitive...)

oh and how could you leave out any Sixteen Candles quotes?! "what's happenin', hot stuff" etc etc.. the list goes on

:P :D

Alison said...

i love... carpet.

haha i love brick! he's amazing <3
and mugatu is my hero!

The Queen said...

Thanks for commenting...your blog's pretty awesome as well.

My favorite would have to beeee...


TBC is probably one of the best movies evaaa...!

Model Citzen said...

post the pic! can't wait to see it. Are you sewing by hand or a sewing machine?

the lipstick lady said...

oh dear lord I love the royal tenenbaums so much it actually made me want to get a big fur coat and start smoking like, 2 years ago or whenever margo does it and have a bad life but be so incredibly awesome. I LOVE sabrina, that's where my sub-header thing comes from. Although it actually goes
sabrina's dad- you're reaching for the moon sabrina
sabrina- no... the moons reaching for me.
so FINE i made the quote my own but it was too long to put under my thing plus my name isn't sabrina so people might think I'm weird.
weird dreams? tell me about it. Although mine are often a little more complex than yours seem. I dont know, they just go on forever.
My weirdest dream is too long to explain but I'll leave you with these words-
huge indoor swimming pool in a big dome, 2 ft pink water, scary rides, being too tall, spiderman, ice cream, big queue, orange bathrooms, my old english teacher, kissing a hot guy.
damn it, it always makes me mad that I'm always about the 18,000th person to comment you. it's the different time zones, is what it is. I go to sleep when you start writing.
why can't I just be a vampire??
I honestly don't understand how you haven't just walked out of cool vintage store with billions of incredible things. I wouldn't be able to control myself.

Carolina Lange said...

What a great post! You made a good list!

dusk&summer said...

excellent idea for a post.

zoolander is AMAZING.

maya said...

i just read your comment on alanna's blog about dancing with m'n'ms and i wish i had dreams like that.
i'm in NY right now, how wierd? we could see eachother and not know it was eachother.
creepy. actually Ny is so huge it would be impossible to see eachother.
i went to a singing diner for breakfst. i wish they had them in London but English people are to shy and would rather die than go to a diner where the waitors/waitresses sing.

jayne said...

wow, you have been seeing a lot of movies! i think i used the quote from sabrina once for a blog entry title! hehe....that vintage store sounds amazing- i need that flapper dress!!!

The Queen said...

Heyyy...wait a minute.

The new Grey's isn't that bad.

And since when is it vintage?

The show is only 3 seasons old--so far! Haha.

an english girl in new york said...

I love heathers. And zoolander for it's sheer insanity. AN I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR VINTAGE STORE IS SO I CAN BY IT ALL!!!!

R* said...

great quotes and fun to read!

alexgirl said...

Any thoughts on ANTM?
I felt kinda bad for NeNe (lol) when everyone was doggin' on her.
And I think "Brown" is about the stupidest nickname ever. She was better off with Whanaynay or whatever!
Can't wait to hear ur thoughts on all these goings on..

molly said...

i really think you should send out alerts when you post a new post...if i had a cellphone i would sign up for it.
because i always fall behind!!

amazing post as usual...
seriously, it sort of concerns me that all your posts are this good. do you have a team of funny little elves writing this for you?

ashley.heaton said...

breakfast club, zoolander, and royal tenenbaums are definitely among my favorite movies ever. but i haven't seen heathers - i think i need to!

maya said...

if you see a girl with huge brown hair, skinny jeans and hippyish clothes wandering around in complete amazment at the city, it's me. i've bought so much here, it's so so so so cheap and the shops are incredible.

The Queen said...

Now I have a question about YOUR blgo title...I'm reading a book called "The Queen of Everything," and they mentioned they same exact quote (which was completely deja-vu, considering I had just started reading your blog).

Did you get it from there, or somewhere else?

Touche19 said...

Uhm, Ferris B., Breakfast Club, Heathers, and Zoolander are waaaaaay up at the top of my list of best movies of all time.

And Royal Tenenbaums IS the best movie of all time (thanks for the tag! :D and ditto abou the whole "Wes Anderson, my HERO" bit from alexgirl).

I miss reading your witty posts. But I am back for good now!!!

Meg said...

Avril Lavigne read my blog and then ran off crying.
High five.

-S said...

who DOESN'T love Zoolander?

Emma said...

the queen-
i have no clue how to access your blog, i tried to get there from ur profile but... i dunno. maybe my computer's screwed up.
i thought i should answer your ? re. my blog title.
it's a quote from alice roosevelt longsworth, who was somebody at some point, i think.
i think she's related to the roosevelts?
if anyone can clarify who the hell she is, please tell my dumb ass because i'd really like to know. and i just realized i can google it. so never mind.
sheesh, my brain is working backwards.

jayne said...

snow patrol was awesome! they are one of those mellow alternative bands, but suprisingly have a lot of stage prescence and energy! they played a lol of my favorites- "somewhere a clock is ticking", "chocolate", "run", and even "set the fire to the third bar"- apparently at every concert they pull up a random girl from the audience to sing the female vocals, but they pulled up this really ditzy and obnoxious girl, so Gary Lightbody (the lead singer) actually told her to leave! then he brought out nikki, the bassist for Silversun Pickups, one of the openings, and she has a pretty voice :) they were really funny and sounded great live! i had a lot of fun, they've been one of the better concerts I've seen.

Tamron Lohan said...

LOVE Heathers. Can recite it backwards and forwards. Two fave lines:

"I had waaaay more people at mah funeral" and "I love my dead gay son!"

Also: LOVE Regina Spektor.