Saturday, August 4, 2007

Oh, The Humanity!

Up until a few days ago, I had no particular vendetta against Bratz! dolls (except for the fact that their name comes with an exclamation point. This is unforgivable in my book). They were just those oddly slutty dolls with the smushed faces and the faux fur miniskirts and the lips the size of Jupiter. Vaguely disturbing, but that's life.
However, I just discovered that the Bratz! are starring in their own personal MOVIE. Is that okay with the world at large? Because it's not okay with me. What's the tagline? "Lobotomiez R Supercute!" "Brain Removal Is So Totally SQUEE!"? They remind me of trashier versions of the Aerie Girls who used to talk about Gilmore Girls on the CW. You know, "OHMYGOD OHMYGOD I LOVE LORELAI'S SHIRT SO MUCH AND I REALLY LIKE THE GUY RORY IS DATING HE IS SO PRETTY I LIKE WHEN BOYS HAVE, LIKE, HAIR AND EYES AND TEETH IT IS SO HAWT OHMYGOD DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY OXYCONTIN?"

This is a picture of a Bratz doll. WHY ARE HER LIPS 90% OF HER FACE? WHY ARE HER JEANS EMBELLISHED WITH DIAMANTE? WHY IS SHE WEARING A CROPPED RED TUBE TOP? Do we seriously want the six-year-olds of today running around showing the world their vajayjays? I'm not some insane no-fun stickler who frowns upon young women who dare to expose their kneecaps and thinks Barbie is Satan spelled backwards (Barbie, although hardly a positive role model, at least seems like she would know how to spell CAT if she were a person), but buying your children Bratz can only encourage a love of recreational Robitussin and driving around in enormous Range Rovers with boys named Gregg and Chadd who are so thoroughly baked that they can't even see you.

Oh my God. When I have kids, I'm putting them in a convent. Who looks at this toy and thinks, "Hmmm. We should market this to children"? It looks like a tiny plastic sex slave. It is wearing a minuscule pleather skirt which is only SECONDS away from an unfortunate chocha-airing (Winona, your thoughts on this?), hooker boots, a little belly-exposing jacket, and a face full of makeup and hair extensions which frankly scream "I am a miniature porn star". I ain't no Quaker (I'm a big fan of the leather skirt and boots, except my leather skirt actually CLOAKS my REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS, and my boots don't have secret compartments in them to stash one-dollar bills in), but surely this can't be normal? And people WONDER why the youth of America keep putting their vaginas on display and passing out and ODing on cocaine and getting arrested? The answer lies in the Dolls aisle at Toys R' Us. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the dolls that gradually make children develop eating disorders- these Bratz are just so blatantly disgusting.

She looks like a tiny extra from the set of "Greasy, Skeevy Porno- Part IV". It makes me want to go fetal and cry for awhile (tiny formal booty shorts! LEOPARD PRINT! Pancake makeup! Is someone out there trying to KILL ME?). If the only alternative to Bratz (and while we're on the subject of the name, can we talk about how not EVERYTHING HAS TO HAVE A Z IN IT? Try these on for size- Skankz? Prostitutez? Dirty Homewreckerz? Venereal-Dizeaze Carrierz?) is those prissy American Girl dolls, I will gladly devote my life to manufacturing them and sewing their little gingham aprons by hand. If you gave a Bratz doll a gingham apron, she would fashion it into a backless thong evening gown in a nanosecond. And then she would paint "SEXXXY" across the ass in rhinestones. And then she would splatter two big glitter handprints over the tetas.

I'm not even going to talk about the fact that this Sporty Spice Brat is wearing a HOT-PINK PLEATHER JUMPSUIT. It was okay for the real Sporty Spice, because it's not like she actually played sports. But presumably Sporty Brat would, you know, PLAY sports, and not just drop her pleather jumpsuit for the lacrosse captain. Whatever. My main problem is that the box says, Bratz Play Sportz. SPORTZ. No. JUST SAY SPORTS. MY GOD. I need a cold shower, and a nap. Sweet Jesus.

Apparently, some forward-thinking, trenchant young intellect at the Bratz! corporation has decided to give the girls the one thing missing from their lives...
Their own personal brand of Pimpz. In Mac Daddy sunglasses, with air guitars. Haven't you heard? Brothel(z) are totally the new pink.
Bad enough that mothers are actually BUYING THEIR CHILDREN THESE TOYS- do we really need a MOVIE? It makes my head hurt. Times like these, I understand the appeal of Maria's abbey. I would have locked myself up in that shit FOREVER, and prayed so hard even Mother Superior would have wanted to take me out for a stress-relieving cocktail. To satisfy the need for a more...chaste children's toy, but still with a dash of sex appeal for those more promiscuous nine-year-olds, I have devised a toy which I like to call...Nunz!

Nunz™ are a stylin' nine-and-a-half inches from top to toe. They come with personalized rhinestone-encrusted wimples, and their flowing floor-length robes can be customized to read "Fraulein #1", "Sister SEXXXIE", or "Your Monk Thinks I'm Hot". They are also required to wear the traditional black slip-on loafers- however, there is a new alternative hot-pink faux-fur-covered loafer that can be substituted for the black ones.
Nunz™ are still in the development stage, but to get the main idea of their super-sexy (yet surprisingly chaste!) look, picture this...
+ = your average Nunz™ doll!
Order fast, because I have a funny feeling these babies will sell like hotcakes. Speaking of which, the first two hundred people to order a Nunz™ doll will also get their own personal Bible embroidered with their choice of slogans- "HOTCAKES", "BAPTIZED BABE" or "JESUS HAS MY CELL #". Call us now! 1800-Nunz, or you can email at

Now, I'm really not a fan of any childrens' doll currently on the market (I was never a very dolly person. I did have Barbies, but I ended up tattooing and eyelinering them beyond recognition), but Bratz are the only doll that sends me into self-righteous flames of feminist anger. I hate to agree with the religious right on anything, but seriously, these dolls are not healthy. Why can't it be like in the old days, when our parents would just let us play with knives and guns and Advil in the sandbox? See, I turned out fine. Right? Right?

I thought so.
To end this post, I will give you lurvely readers a little challenge.

Caption this Brat's thoughts. What is she thinking? The most amusing submission (i.e. the submission that makes me spit out my drink in unattractive snorting laughter the farthest) will win a SPECIAL GIFT!!!*
*The Special Gift will most likely involve a little message-mention in my next blog post about how cool you are. Also, I'll send you a Nunz™ doll when they're done being manufactured.

MUSIC, BOOKS, MOVIES + TV CORNER- Okay, I didn't get to make this joke in my last Potter-related post *takes deep breath and prepares blogosphere for extreme hilarity*
Pretty deathly, those hallows, eh?
*collapses in fit of mirth, snorting and cackling with glee at own wit*.
Shhh. Let it wash over you and enjoy it.
Anyway, I definitely did not read the book AGAIN, so be quiet. The fabulous Shelby pointed out in a comment last post that J.K. Rowling must have totally ripped the epilogue off from, like, True! So true! For SHAME, Rowling! Oh well, you wrote 7 perfect and amazing books so I forgive you.
I was just thinking about an episode of a TV show I saw at the beginning of the year, where all the characters conspire to rob Mick Jagger. It was odd, and awesome, and it made me think about which celebrity I would want to rob, you know, if I rolled that way.
I would rob Lindsay Lohan BLIND, so maybe she would stop spending all her damn money on BLOW.
I'm sorry, I felt bad for her at first because she is at least marginally more talented than most, and could one day be a decent, maybe even better-than-decent actress if she just stopped being such a cokehead, but suck it up. Keep your damn nose clean, kid. If you want an avalanche of white powder, go to Aspen., embarrassingly enough, I've been listening to a lot of Journey. She's just a small town in a LONELY WO-ORLD...she took a midnight train going aaannnyyywheeere... speaking of which, did everyone else see the Bill+Hil campaign-song Sopranos spoof? I swear to God, it made my month. Doggone it, I kind of love those Clintons, I cannot lie.
Even though I'm completely rooting for Obama. Hopefully, he'll make an entertaining campaign video soon. And hopefully, it too will star Bill Clinton.
Also, I just discovered Guster's "Carol of Meows" and am already looking forward to shaping my Christmas around it.
Of course, the Beatles' "Rubber Soul" has been enchanting me. I've also been listening to Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed", and it blows my mind. As does "Blackbird"- single most lovely lyrics of any Beatles song, in my opinion. Although that's a tough contest.'s August, nothing is on. Oy. I'm going to have to better myself...through LITERATURE. Blech! Reading! Just kidding, I am a complete book whore.

SIGHTINGS- Your mom.
Yeah. I made a "your mom" joke. I saw your mom.
Look, there is NOTHING, all right? I saw a woman in a SCRUNCHIE yesterday. At the risk of sounding like the episode of SATC where Annoying Bradshaw rabbits on for two hours about how nobody in New York wears scrunchies and her poor, beleaguered new boyfriend finally sees the light and slowly starts to hate her as much as I did, scrunchies should be burned alongside Crocs in a communal ritualistic bonfire. Perhaps the Fug Girls could preside over it.

CURRENT ATTIRE- My new electric-blue T-shirt dress, with a waist-cinching belt, a white tank underneath, and my navy wedges. This will be my new summer standby outfit, I believe.



Ba Doozie said...

ummmm...agreed on the bratz dolls. THey are tramps and simply can't be trusted. I've never run across one single person conservative, liberal or not that approves of these minions of satan.

after studying things like eating disorders and low self esteem issues in our youth, this sort of thing really gets me hot. So your rant is going down in history or at the very least getting honorable mention and linkage at my blog. Emmasometimes blogged about these just recently.

as for the caption, here is my entry:

ewwwwww!! like what IS that light? like are there like... aliens up there? I'm like sorta freaked lips are trembling and when they like do that, like my whole body shakes...because like my lips make up like er....some kinda percentage of my eleven percent? Like is that right? I don't do it's for geeks! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....OMG my hair is soooooo long! I like just noticed! I double as a floor mop!! I hope the little 4 year old that gets me uses me to clean up the floor after the puppy shits all shit and die beotchhhhhh.....oh SNAP....huh? What was I OMG...ROFLMAO....get away from me with that bread!!! you know I don't eat like bread products!!! I have to lost 2 ounces before dinner!! I HATE you guys!!! Like how do you eat bread and LIVE with your fat ASSES!!!! Get away from me you make me like....gag in my mouth....OMG is that pimpdaddyJZretardspinnerlicker? I LOVE him...EWWWW!!! PIMPDADDYretardidiotbuttlicker...Take me for a ride in your pimpin Lac!!! Like you are sooooo hawt!! I wanna be your little pimplickin ho...ssssssssssssss...can't touch this bootyliscious jelly....aint no thing!!!

Mrs Fashion said...

My caption:

" "

Yep, that's right. She's not thinking anything.
At. All.
Her brain is empty.
Have I won?
Mrs F x

Mrs Fashion said...

There was a bi---i-i-i---g gap between those quotation marks but blogger made then get lost in translation...

Ellen SB said...

Hm, I SERIOUSLY got a cramp from laughing so hard. Awesome post! “It looks like a tiny plastic sex slave” sooo truue! Love it!

And I think the doll is thinking: “Wonder what I will wear tomorrow,! Hey! I’ll just cover up with my unnatural long hair in stead of clothes.”

kaitlynthefirst said...

Hilarious post as usual, I hate the bratz dolls. Do you ever watch Paula Abdul's reality show, 'Hey Paula?', as in "Hey Paula, stop licking my shoes!" or "Hey Paula, Get out of that dumpster!" Anyways, in one episode she had this big fit about how she had created the costumes for the Bratz movie, and they decided that they didn't need her really ugly costumes (one of the outfits was a matching mini skirt and shirt set in CAMO.) Then Paula cryed for the rest of the episode. It is the greatest show ever.

Here's my caption:
"Yummy! Lead paint chipZ!"

Teresa said...

WOW, I completely agree with you on the whole Bratz being baby prostitutes. I always thought that! I mean which decent parental figure would buy mini hookers for their kiddies?! Also I think the dolls are geared toward the pedophile population.
"I lovez tootin' my bootay like Tyra Bankzz"

Carolina Lange said...

I agrre with you about Bratz!
Another hilarious post! Loved it!

selinaoolala said...

I must actually confess (i'm not proud here!) that i was watching the trailers before the hp movie (don't you just lurve trailers?!) and this movie came on about 4 girls who rawked (i don't actually say rawk... it just fitted in their lame embellished jeans kinda way) and went to high school and made fun of biatches, in a kind of second mean girls thing. i was just thinking to myself hmmm i could rent this with a huge bag of doritos and a mound of chocolate at about 5am when it announced 'bratz, the movie!' if daniel radcliffe hadn't improved alot in looks i would have left the cinema right then. i can only admit that in this fabulously anonymous blog world

mushroommeadows said... pretty much summarized everything I've felt about the bratz! dolls!!! It's so, so, so, so sad.

My caption:

"Oh no, I totally ruined my diet...again! I ate too much lip gloss today."

Isabel said...

Bahahahaha! You are fucking hilarious! Nunz?? So genius! I'm glad Bratz stir your feminist anger as much as they do mine.

Touche19 said...

bratz dolls = APPAULING
I actually gag at the sight of them.
Not to mention when the movie trailer is shown in theaters or blasted over the radio.

WHAT has the world come to?!?!
and yes, the Jimi Hendrix section of the EMp was BEYOND AMAZING, but my fav display was the one showing all of Elton John's pimp outfits. Classy baby!

Robin said...

Kids these days are a bunch of hoodlums. After catching a news program in Seattle a few months back where they were trying to destroy the NORTHERN LIGHTS so that cell phone service wouldn't be disrupted, I've given up on saving people and am going to do whatever I please while we take this planet straight to hell.

Chelsamajiggy said...

Bratz are trampz.

And yes, I watched merely the pilot of that "let's take Mick Jagger's money, dudes" show. I can't remember for the life of me what's it called.

And Journey could have my children. No, wait ... my mother's children. Journey can have my siblings.

Thanks for another great blog!

P.S.: For the hell of it, I should just send a random email to

I'm just much too intrigued by the idea.

Jenn said...

ha ha... I'd like to see the Nunz doll.

Those things always look like bobbleheads to me.

Shelby said...

Arad, the man behind the "Spider-Man" and "Fantastic Four" franchises, raised eyebrows in Hollywood when he switched gears from his comic book safety zone to produce the tween-empowerment movie inspired by the freakish dolls with enormous heads. In explaining the move, he insisted that Bratz are "X-Men for girls" — it's just that their superpowers are singing, fashion, soccer and cheerleading.

Because, obviously, cheerleading IS a superpower. As is shopping. Its like, as if Barbie didn't have strange enough propotions, they needed to create even odder ones. I use Journey as an icebreaker- I'll quietly say "She was a small town girl," the person I'm trying to talk to will say "NO PLZ DON'T" "Born and raised in SOUTH DETROOOOOIT" "Please, Shelby, I beg you." "SHE TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN DOWN TO ANYYY EEE WHERE". "DO NOT WANT!"

Miss Zoe said...

"ooo! I think I just felt something go up my bottom! Mum said I shouldnt wear such a short skirt, but I just love pleated denim! ohhh, I feel a little woozy, must be the peroxide seeping into my brain........(fade out)..."

amyliz said...

My little sister wanted to go see that movie yesterday. Thank the Lord my parents put their collective feet down and said no. I cannot stand them.

And, at last someone who dislike Carrie Bradshaw as much as I do!

Caption (?): "Oooh, furry zebra print purple patent clogs falling from the sky? A giant blue and pink teddy bear to complete my lovely lovenest? Oh, no, a..." *CLONK as a large safe smashes her flat on the sidewalk*

amyliz said...

The dolls I mean, not my parents.

SandDancer said...

They are indeed a bunch of trollops. As well as their slutty attire and mega pouts, did you know that their feet come off - not their shoes, but their feet. Its not nice because inevitably children lose the feet and the dolls have to stand around on stumps.

Jennifer said...

hahaha can't wait for the movie to come out!

Tru said...

oh those dolls are so creppy sluty and annoying

coco said...

i hate bratz dolls they scare me
i dont understand why anyone would want there daughter playing with a doll that looks like it has a coke addiction

CountryGirl_CityLife said...


your new standby outfit sounds fabby

Well I think this bratz doll obviously watched the secret eppy of Orpah and is thinking hard "please please please let me discoved on bratz gone wild"

sara said...

oh my gosh! your posts are so long! but i love them.

I thought that hp joke was amazingly funny.

bratz dolla - well never been a fan of them but I guess they are pretty much porn dolls,

x sara o

fashionistakay said...

Sorry to say but I used to have two of those dolls some yeaaaars ago. What can I say I liked that you got to dress them up. But I eventually ended up messing with one's hair and giving both away. And I don't think I found it very hard to give away....
Anyway your attire sounds awesome would love to see those navy wedges

Regina and Renee said...

ya why cant any of us non sluty humans have lips like that?


Frasypoo said...

Heres my entry
"Do I need to take more vicodin?It will go wonderfully well with the marijuana I smoked 10 minutes ago...oh wait the marijuana will be out of my system by the time the vicodin takes effect.I am so happy to be me !"

I' m sorry I had to take a shot at Nicole !
Great post....have you watched "The Soup"Joel McHale makes fun of the Bratz dolls all the time

molly said...

possibly one of your greatest posts???
i was in an awful mood when i started reading it but now i feel almost giddy
first off, i think now is the perfect time to begin planning stewart and mes arranged marriage
we are destined
nunz dolls? SIGN ME UP
bratz scare the living crap out of me
i guess thats why were starting to see thongs for six year olds? JESUS

stupidcupcake said...

Oh my sister used to love these doll. They are so ugly.. But I really liked the post. I've also add your link to my blog...

Henna said...

"I wonder if that shirt comes in Diamante..."

:), you killed me with that.

S. said...

I imagine having a daughter who liked Bratz would be oh-so infuriating.

Please stop generating this shite for girls!

alexgirl said...

Once again, you're a freaking genius!!!!!!!!!!!!
I too was horrified at the prospect of a Bratz movie. I mean, seriously. SERIOUSLY!!!
And don't be embarrassed to like Journey. They had some jammin' tunes back in the day.
And I'll bring the lighter fluid if you want to go ahead with this "burning the crocs and the scrunchies" plan. Woo Hoo!!!!

And don't forget, if you're looking for a book to read, buy BACK TALK!!!! I really want to know what you think of it. (try B&N, and if they don't have it, request it!!)

So glad you're back. It was a lonely month in blogtopia w/o you!

fashionistakay said...

My caption: "Hmmm I wonder what it would be like to go 2 ICELAND...must be soooo cold. Which means I wouldn't be able 2 wear this mini skirt. And its like my favorite mini...I mean come on it is like so fetch!And what about my legally blonde hair? I'd have 2 hide it under a hat because of the cold. Well then I guess I'm definitely never going there like EVER!But those poor polar bears I mean is there enuf fur 2 on them 2 keep them warm?so sad.maybe i could do something....i know!I'll give that donation that homeless guy was asking for down the street. He said there hasn't been enuf fur 2 go around for the polar bears in ICELAND!"
p.s.I know this is a really random caption but it just came 2 me.

Maddy said...

"This is my pensive face."

Eritia said...

I love your post!

Plus, i forget where, but i read an article....OHyeah! the Washington post, i think, about the movie, and how when designing the costumes they wanted to get rid of the Bratz "Reputation" and how they wanted the clothes to be wholesome and all and i laughed and laughed. Plus, the story of the movie is all about not succumbing to the cliques and pre-existing social ladder/structure of the four bratz high school... and the movie storyline doesn't even fit the name because the girlzzz in the movie aren't even bratty, they're good and nice and into "being themselves' even though they all dress stereotypically.

In response to the American girl doll thing... my Samantha doll was always this evil (dare i say it?) brat who bullied the other girls and pushed them out of bed while they were sleeping causing them to break limbs. and she would steal and pull their hair and make them do her homework and she always blamed all her misbehaving on them, and her mother was always the head of the school who would then lock the innocent, falsely-accused doll into some concrete, bars-on-the-windows, tiny room to punish her. haha. i was a bizzare child.

Moose on the Loose said...

I totally agree w/you on Bratz(or should i say BRATZ!). They're so dumb, pointless, ugly, and just...ewwwwww!!!!! And..........THEY'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!!!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? What is the world coming to when plastic slutty dolls get a movie deal?

Farren said...

"i wonder what std chadz gave me in the backz of hiz range roverz lazt night. i hopez it waz herpez. it'll totally go with my new pink rhinestone thong." -- bratz

WAT said...

My little niece loves these heathenly savage big-lipped things! I think it's too late to put her in a convent!

blushing apples said...

and the bratz are now a movie? never will I watch it. my new blog url is:

KiKi said...

I agree bratz are a little slutish. Who am i kidding their like sluts on speed its awful and my cousin and her friend just worship them and they wonder why they have pregnet 12 yr. olds. My cousin wants to seethe movie so bad. They just want kids to grow up so fast. My cousin is in second grade and she already writes in her diary about the boy she kissed on the play ground she already gets embarrssed around the family she even asked to sit by herself at the movies. My god what has the world come to.

KiKi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KiKi said...

wow i had to delete that caption was way to stupid.

Punky said...

hahaha, I use to get so pissed when those girls came on talking about gilmore girls.
They were so lame.

KSV said...

OK, I despise, DESPISE, the Bratz. They are slutty and horrible for young girls to even have as any form of role model. What happened to Barbie? Better yet, where's Jem and Synergy? They can show up the Bratz any day. Are you having a better day? I wish I had known sooner, I would have attempted to over night some happiness and relaxation your way.

Fabi said...

the accountant came in yesterday with her daughter who was begging her for a bratz lunchbox. she said "Only if you do the bratz face." And of course she puckered her lips as much as is possible for a four-year old. A four year old! Nevermind six yearolds. Goodness.

p.s. another great post!! I wish I had your hilariousness and geniousity!!!!!

Cris Lazoru said...

Omigod I so like hate Slutz! Those lips belong on a pole dancing stripper! My caption was going to be like Mrs Fashion but she beated me to it. Oh well, funny post


Lola said...

I've always hated the Bratz dolls. I have a personal vendetta against them actually.

Brian Mandabach said...

Anything that can send you into a righteous flames of feminist can't be all bad.

When she was turning 9, my daughter just HAD to have the Bratz Dollz. You just gotta let some things go when you're a parent. Not a year had gone by before she was totally over them, and she was saying, "Omigod, Cloe! Your HEAD is so totally bigger than your whole BODY!"
"Shutup, JADE! Your LIPS are like bigger than your whole face! And your FEET are as big as your HEAD and they come OFF!!"
"So do YOURS."
"So do YOURS."

You have to have the dolls to deconstruct them. Well, maybe you don't.
As was the whole post.

dusk&summer said...

I agree with everything you said. lol hilarious post

Villager said...

My first time visiting your blog. My 10-year old daughter liked Bratz dolls for awhile. In fact, i think she still has a comforter, sheets and pillow cover with the Bratz girls on them. I was surprised by the movie as I didn't realize they had become that popular. Methinks that the dolls were popular in our household because at least one of them appeared to be of African descent. That is rare in the doll world...

peace, Villager

alexgirl said...

Ok, here's my submission. It's kinda lame, but I want to partake:

"Wait... am I wearing underwear?"

Dilemma said...

I think you and I both know the answer to that question. But I'm trying to keep this comment PG-13 so I won't spell it out in its entirety.

The only thing that the bratz doll can possibly be thinking is, "Note to self-must remember to fill Valtrex perscription ASAPZ. These crabs are so itchy! Bee Tee Double-U, what is this femininininsm? Is that itchy too?"

Iheartfashion said...

Thankfully, my kids find the Slutz as appalling as I do. My 5-year old daughter saw the "Wedding Bratz" set recently in Target, complete with midriff-baring stripper bride and her only comment was "Eeeew! Tacky!"

-S said...

i hate bratz. what i hate more? how barbie has made a line of dolls looking much like bratz. what happened?

jungle dream pagoda said...

WHAT THE DOLLY IS THINKING: After that Emma girl spreads her cool around with those Nunz dolls ,I'll be obselete,and I don't even know what that means!

fashionistakay said...

HEY there Emma! Just dropping by to say that I have a new post and that starting tomorrow my website will be changed to
p.s. I have to say you inspire to think outside of the box and I hope you enjoy reading about fashion rehab in my post.

molly said...

im still waiting for you to get your own tv show...

you deserve it

you are a priestess of hilarious wit

The Stiletto Effect said...

i don't like Bratz dolls and this post rules lol!!!
btw thx for your comment, i'm flattered :)
luv, kisses and hugs

robot-walk said...

seriously, your posts are both hilarious and brilliant. Bratz dolls are the embodiment of evil, that much is certain. btw you should totally apply for a patent on your nunz idea, just to be sure ;)

*** MeMiLy EdD *** said...

god it is soooo wierd

*** MeMiLy EdD *** said...

that bratz are staring in a movie sorry i left that bit out

jayne said...

that was hilarious! you're a total genius, but we knew that already! i remember watching the trailer for the movie when i saw nancy drew and almost puking in my popcorn..."giggle giggle- i'm a 14 yr old whore- giggle giggle- *snorting of coke*"

i am falling in love with the beatles rubber soul as we speak right now :)

scrunchies, eww that was only ok when i was 5 and it was the 90s...bleh

Crazy Eddie said...

I'm not sure what I think about BRATZ, but the toys these days have been seriously disappointing me lately. Terrible...

I had the most fun playing a good old Board Game when I was a child.


jennine said...

oh my, i don't even know what these are.
: (

pego said...

Ick...I wouldn't even know how to pick those things up without touching some part that isn't contaminated.

Caption entry: "I think I just had a thought! Tehe!"

LADY said...

Emma you are by far the wittiest person I know.

Alright...caption time:

"I wonder when the rest of the Bratz will notice that I am actually a tranny...."

stilettoheights said...

Brazt Dolls - teaching little girls to be sexed up trash whores....

yeah, this is what's wrong with the world.

Belle said...

Bratz caption: Omg i ran out of lipstick AGAIN!!! this is like the eight time today. Ew is that BARBIE walking in? Wow i should really hike my skirt up even more, its the only way to be noticed. Humm i wonder if this Garnier hair dye will cover my grays. So what if Im not a true blonde? Ohh a puppy!!!

killa kate said...

you are quite possible the wittiest writers i know. write a book on your take on fashion and the rest of the world. i would buy it, for sure.

Katie Rosemary said...

bratz dolls are evil end of... my little sister plays the bratz cd and the music is evil too.
also re. scrunchies... urban outfitters are selling them... uh oh it might actually be a new scene trend god forbid!

lalaliu said...

if all the little girls are getting bratz (ick by the way) i see a sad sad slutty future ahead.

yes! i would love a link exchange with you. linked you up already. your posts make me laugh and laughing keeps me young and alive so thank you :)

btw, i would totally buy a nunz doll. i still need a role model in my life and i think they would be perfect.

evie said...

you are hilarious! i would love to trade links with you... in fact, i'm adding you right now.