Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I went to Barneys Co-Op today.
Perhaps that sentence evokes images of a perfect, waif-like Park Avenue princess striding regally through the store, tossing buttery-soft silk and cashmere and leather into her obedient whipping-boy Franz's arms whilst the sales staff groveled at the very sight of her and fought each other to be the one who got to bring her an ice cold bottle of Evian and a bag of mixed nuts.
Heh, mixed nuts.

Anyway, you could not be farther off.
I slink in wearing my extremely conspicuous bright yellow thrift-shop trench coat (but I was also wearing my one nice pair of Wolford tights, and I wanted to scream "LOOK! I'M WEARING EXPENSIVE TIGHTS! BE NICE TO ME!" at the employees so they would stop evil-eyeing me) and try to avoid the suspicious eagle eyes of the fabulous salespeople (why are all Barneys employees cool? How do you become cool enough to work at Barneys? Is there a tutorial class? Can I enroll?) whilst covertly fondling expensive fabrics and imagining my alter ego, Amme (It's Emma backwards. But surely you got that) swathed in the stunning gowns and absurdly cute minidresses and shiny patent stilettos, being adored by pasty yet intimidatingly cool male Gucci models. Like him.
I spend a few minutes stroking sumptuous, stunning stuff (do I win the alliteration prize? And can the prize be one of these things?) like this Marc Jacobs lace dress which should totally have a passionate, raunchy affair with these vintage Frye boots (not from Barneys... they hail from Mirror Mirror vintage), and it would be a total Baby-and-Johnny,
other-side-of-the-tracks secret-lovers kind of romance, and the dress's father (or in this case, Marc Jacobs, the dress's designer) could disapprove and the boots would get fired but would show up at the end-of-year dance and say to Marc Jacobs, "Nobody puts Dress in a corner" and then they would dance together to "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life" and it would be really hot and amazing and...I may not be mentally stable. If any psych majors are reading this, tell me- is it psychologically questionable to personify a dress and boots into the main characters from Dirty Dancing? It may be that the dress and boots together would be less adorable and more insufferable, pretentious Mischa-Barton-esque hipster, but...LET ME BELIEVE IN LOVE. I HAVE TO BELIEVE IN LOVE. ThisDVF pencil skirt frankly makes me want to grovel and suck up to the wearer (or in this case, the mannequin) like a Gretchen Weiners. "You know a year ago she told me I couldn't wear DVF pencil skirts anymore? She said DVF pencil skirts were HER thing? So, for Hannukah, my parents got me this really expensive DVF pencil skirt, and I had to pretend like I didn't even LIKE it, and...it was so sad!"
However, on a more painful note, this 3.1 Phillip Lim double-breasted coat goes for a hefty $645. This is completely and totally reasonable. After all, it's not like this exact flannel shirt (perhaps minus the kicky little belt-bow thing) has been hanging in my grandfather's closet since 1972.If there is one thing my long and painful bout with the Lanz nightgowns I used to favor as a young girl during my "I am Anne of Green Gables" delusion taught me, it is that you can't sex up flannel. And correct me if I am right, but haven't these Marc Jacobs jelly flats happened every year for about four years? Isn't it time for them to QUIETLY SLINK AWAY TO THE ISLAND OF LOST FLATS THAT WOULD HARDLY FLATTER ANYONE WHOSE LEGS DID NOT APPROXIMATE THE WIDTH OF COCKTAIL STIRRERS, BECAUSE, COME ON, THEY'RE WEE LITTLE SEE-THROUGH SHOES AND THE WHOLE WEE-LITTLE-SEE-THROUGH-ANYTHING THING SHOULD REALLY BE COMING TO AN ABRUPT HALT BY NOW?
So, after I'd viewed all that Barneys had to offer and become increasingly more and more depressed about the barren state of both my closet and my wallet, I slunk out of the store and drowned my sorrows in a) gelato and b) online shopping.
Although my alter ego, Amme, was still happily swaddling herself in $500-a-yard fabrics and feasting on Russian caviar (while retaining her perfect figure), I decided to say "Screw you, Amme!" by showing you all these little gems which are both fairly affordable and will make you look cool enough to earn an approving smile from the demons at the Jeans Bar at Barneys (no offense to any Barneys workers reading this. It's not you, it's me- I'm a jealous shrew who envies your perfection and employee discount. Can we be friends? No, really, can we?)
First, from the fabulous Suzabelle...
Good googa mooga, that is a hot little sweater. The crotchety, cat-having, eyeglasses-wearing, young-whippersnapper-hating English teacher inside me loves a good cardigan.
I love it. I don't own it. As Liz Lemon would say, "Blergh." Blergh indeed, Liz. Blergh indeed. P.S. Still searching for ONE BLOGGER WHO WATCHES 30 Rock. Come on, out with it. SOMEBODY? ANYBODY?
Do you even KNOW how good this georgette top would look with that DVF pencil skirt? Or slim black pants? Or scrub pants, for God's sake? Okay, so it's not quite that versatile. But if I had this shirt, my reputation as "that girl who has bits of food on her shirt and falls asleep in public places" would be instantly replaced with "that incredibly classy, gorgeous girl with the perfect hair who is always alert and awake in public and never drops her obscenely messy tote and screams expletives whilst scrambling around on all fours trying to get all her stuff off the street on Madison Avenue".
I got the pleasure of seeing this dress in the flesh at Le Frock in Seattle, and was going to buy it (it is, to date, the only satin/silk garment that hasn't given me an extra phantom ass) until I realized I wouldn't wear it as much as the tunic top I DID end up buying. Still, whenever I look at the picture I kick myself in the shin. Which is painful. Maybe someone will leave it on my doorstep in a wicker basket with an adorable little baby blanket and a note saying "Take Care of Me". You know, like in the BSC book where the baby turns up on Abby's doorstep and it turns out it's, like, her long-lost cousin. Not that I remember anything about the Babysitters' Club books. I'll just say this- Claudia Kishi is my cult goddess. Did anybody out there NOT want to be her?
I lust after this dress like every heterosexual male in the world apparently lusts after the girl from Fantastic Four. Even though her head is disproportionate to her body. But whatever. Hey, dress? Call me sometime. Maybe, you know, if you're not busy, we can get a beer. Or something (wiggles eyebrows suggestively).
God, waist-belts are flattering. Not the huge tacky shiny Pussycat Doll ones from Mandee's (I've christened them "the anti-chastity belt), but cute ones which emphasize your cleav, downplay your stomach and make your legs look thinner in proportion. I feel like the belt on this stunning swing dress would serve all 3 of those purposes. Plus, me likey the color. Midnight blue. Rawrrr. You know what shoes would look hot with this dress? These Miu Mius. I feel like a footwear pimp.
Now, this could go either way. It could be either your diabetic Aunt Edna who thinks men and women should ride on separate city buses and gives you the evil eye when you turn up at her house in- horror of horrors!- a TANK TOP, or it could be a painfully cool and stunning Parisian outfit that you wear on a rainy Sunday to visit art galleries solo, because you're that cool and aloof, while men throughout the city fall in love with you. Let's all hope for the latter.
Meanwhile, over at Popgloss...
When I find a gray vintage "scooter dress" online for $13, I do a little dance of joy in my computer chair. Especially since the model actually looks happy, and not like she's having sewing needles jammed into her cornea.
Can you think of any occasion in which these shoes would be declasse or inappropriate? Okay, maybe. But my God, I want them anyway. I would wear them with my vintage black BCBG dress and the dark purple belt I got at a thrift store for $2.
This is supposedly called a pill bottle dress, which I find perplexing, but not enough so that I stop imagining myself wearing it with various stunning shoes. It is entirely possible that it could make the wearer resemble a poorly upholstered sofa, or, indeed, a duvet cover (because who hasn't had the horrible experience of being stuck with that ugly couch/duvet cover/armchair that is utterly without charm and makes the entire room it inhabits look like a holding cell, yet is shamefully comfortable/a valued family heirloom and therefore Not To Be Removed/too cumbersome to drag out the door? And so it lives on and on in your house, slowly sucking out the appeal of every piece of furniture you subsequently buy). But I like to look at it anyway.
God, I love cute tote bags. They cost nothing, they hold everything, and when you own one you can legitimately excuse carrying around four different hardcover books, three dog-eared copies of Elle, an instruction manual for an espresso maker you don't own, assorted beads, sparkly things, dots of glitter and shards of glass (ow), multiple pairs of "just-in-case" socks, a random green flip-flop, the receipt for everything you've ever bought, enough business cards to build a new Space Needle out of paper, random Chinese food takeout menus, wind-up toys, assorted Jelly Belly beans, a burned CD of "Begin To Hope" in case you are in a place where you need to hear Regina Spektor and there happens to be a CD player lying around, and the odd spoon or two, because hey, you've got the room.
A bag shaped like a telephone! A RED telephone! This excites me in a way that only a girl who has 9384923843 bottles of red nail polish, more red lipsticks than any woman should ever own, red socks, red miniskirts, red hair pins, red chopsticks, red coffee mugs and, as a child, watched The Red Balloon over and over in a trance could ever be excited.

Popgloss.com is pretty much the niftiest little website ever. And when I use the word "nifty", you know I mean it. You can find anything from Christian Louboutin pumps to hats made of Lego. Visit it RIGHT NOW. I found this little Chloe dress on the site, and the part of me that's longing to wear my hair in braids and listen to Joni Mitchell is saying, "Save up for it! You know you want to!" as well as this Vivienne Westwood sweater- very the '80s meets Sonia Rykiel in Paris. What a pretentious sentence. But it's true.
But the number-one expensive item I would sell my internal organs for are these Miu Miu patent pumps. I saw a pair in a much more attractive dark swirly black-red shade and literally spent a full half hour looking at them. Then I searched for the shoes in that exact shade for TWO full hours online, but alas, it was in vain. I really, truly think I would be a better person with these shoes on my feet. And I'm not just saying that. So if some wealthy millionaire is reading this with his bifocal, stroking his Monopoly-guy mustache and saying "Hmmm, I need to get rid of $415", well, you know who to make the check out to. I promise I'll start doing charity work. Or something. "Hmm," he thinks, "I must reward Emma for her mediocre behavior with a fantastically expensive pair of shoes. And perhaps a Jacuzzi filled with hundred-dollar-bills and Crunchie bars. And a diamond pony. And Paul Rudd with a gift ribbon tied around his head."
Have you ever had an item in a shop that you fell swiftly in love with and started visiting in the store, murmuring sweet nothings until your friends start to worry that you have actually lost your last tiny shred of sanity because you are making a hajj to a pair of shoes/bag/coat/whatever? Tell Mama all about it. What was the item? Did you ever buy it?

THE MUSIC, TV, & MOVIE CORNER- I went to see Superbad. And I walked out. No, ne me quitte pas...wait. I have no problem with bawdy humor (in fact, I love it- not for nothing am I the only girl I know who watches Reno 911), but it should be just that...humorous. I just got tired of the constant penis jokes, you know? It was like paying twelve dollars to hang out at a frat house. Maybe I'm getting wiser in my old age, I don't know. [REDACTED- SUPERBAD IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED]. Anyway, the only other movie I could sneak into was Stardust, which is so not my thing, but I liked it. Sort of. Jeez, I want to look like Michelle Pfeiffer when I am Of A Certain Age, even though she does spend most of the movie looking decomposed. Am I the only one who was rooting for her to get her youth back throughout the movie? Screw Claire Danes. Why do I like her again? Oh, right, My So-Called Life. Shut up, you watched it too. Some of my fondest memories are renting every episode of this show from Blockbuster when I was nine and feasting on the only good ABC show ever made.
"So how would you describe Anne Frank? " "Lucky." "Is that supposed to be funny, Angela? How on earth could you make a statement like that? Hmm? Anne Frank perished in a concentration camp. Anne Frank is a tragic figure. How could Anne Frank be lucky?" "I don't know. Because she was trapped in an attic for three years with this guy she really liked?" - Angela ( in a bad mood ) & teacher
Wrong. And awesome. Oh yes, they went there.
I just discovered Kate Nash. She's kind of Lily Allen 2.0. Well, I don't really want to decide which one's better. But I like Kate a lot. This is one of her few songs that I actually love, but the video is lovely.

Tila Tequila should be killed. I mean, if she ever is, I didn't do it. But God, she makes the skin under my fingernails itch.

SIGHTINGS- Conan O'Brien's taffeta boxer shorts, is it hot in NYC right now. Accordingly, the people are dressing somewhat skimpily, which sometimes works (girl in Sheep Meadow wearing airy little blue cotton minidress, assorted vintage-looking bracelets, and white espadrilles which I coveted) and sometimes, well, doesn't (woman at Island Burgers and Shakes in tiny gold tank top and white vinyl micromini with clunky black gladiator shoes, I'm talkin' to you). I, myself, need some good suggestions for places to buy really cheap and cute tights. I will be switching to a new and uniform-free school this upcoming school year, and I plan to debut the Tights-And-Dresses-And-Boots thing to celebrate my freedom from itchy wool kilts.

CURRENT ATTIRE- Purple cap-sleeved top from Buffalo Exchange in Seattle, darker-purple belt cinching it at the waist, short black vintage BCBG skirt, violet tights (actually...they're LEGGINGS. I was so pissed when I bought them at Urban Outfitters and despite the fact that they said "Low Rise TIGHTS" on the front, they had no feet, meaning that I can only wear them with boots from now on. Hence, my need for a new tights shop) and black suede boots. It's actually cool enough outside to wear this outfit. And I love it.

Auf Wiedersehen

P.S. Do we likey the new header?
P.P.S. Where the hell did Touche19 go?


Miss Zoe said...

ahh Claudia Kishi... she was so cool with her different earrings. I wanted to be Stacey, cos she was so cool also and sophisticated cos she was from New York. Oh Yeah. Dawn was also a winner with the californian long blonde hair etc, but the rest of them were weiners. Oh except Jessie, but she was only like 11 so she was too young to really be cool.

Mary-Ann and Kristy and friggin Mallory were really pretty painful, i always thought. great post.

evie said...

30 rock erm... ROCKS!!!

can a fan of liz lemon or anne of green gables ever be cool??? nobody shoot me! i'm saying i'm a fan but maybe that's my inner geek speaking and maybe that says that i'm not gonna be cool enough to work at barney's :p

Christine said...

I LOVEEEE 30 Rock! Just watched the rerun of the Austrian Prince episode...it kills me!

blushing apples said...

that video is soo cool! did you seee the little deer at the beginning? I have that! hehe

WAT said...

I'm intimidatingly cool and pasty! Why ain't I a model?

I figured SUPERBAD was lame and chock full of perverted teenage jokes! I just saw JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE tho and I thought it was purty cool without being low-class.

And u saw Jakey G. and u couldn't keep yourself composed girl? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHERE IS YOUR INTERNAL FORTITUDE?!

Who am I kidding, I'd prolly need smelling salts myself if I sawr him too.

coco said...

i love the header
and i think it is very true
and omg that dvf skirt is like the sexiest skirt i have ever seen in my life
i want it so badly

Jennifer said...

Sportsgirl is a store here in Australia, i would't expect that you would have heard of it but you should check out their web site http://sportsgirl.com.au

ps I'm loving the shoes especially that bright colorful pair, so cute!

The Stiletto Effect said...

yes!!!! "me likey" the new header :D

Josefina Myrman said...

we like

Chelsamajiggy said...

Amme is one lucky girl.

The ripped and torn jeans look makes me laugh (your flannel bit set me off) because they can be priced at the cost of a small home and look like they've been through the shredder, but honestly, I would much rather pay for a pair of cheapies and screw 'em up myself. I mean, it's a lot more fun and creative, after all. "Look, Ma! I'm fashionable!"

I wore jelly flats when I was 6 to 8 and then I tossed them. They weren't as appealing as I thought, but when you're little, you wear what fits, right?

Suzabelle sells damn good stuff. Or maybe there's a little English teacher in me, too.

In regards to the Baby Sitter's Club, I always liked Stacey. I related, though, 'cause she has diabetes and in my family, I'm seriously at risk, so I'm doing the best that I can. And by that, I mean, eating far too many Sunchips and Jamaican patties.

Oh, and you're right: Every straight guy loves Jessica Alba, and it drives me mad.

Haha, "the anti-chastity belt". Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Love it.

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight (and that one would be for a delicious little tote bag (okay, fine, a big snazzy tote bag, but it sounds more adorable if I say something that sounds small, wee, petite). I mean, I would love to carry a series of paperbacks, three copies of Cosmo from last year, Mardi Gras beads that my wild cousin Bianca gave me, an orange-flavoured Kool-Aid Jammer, six hair elastics, three pairs of sunglasses, two bottles of nail polish I never use, 4 bottles of Evian, the warranties for my laptop and printer and digital camera and stereo and television and anything other remotely electronic in the house (including the toaster), a binder of resumés from six months ago, a packet of Easter egg chocolates, two mix tapes, and countless Post-It notes. Oh, how I wish I had a tote bag ... well, besides the one I use for the beach.

Ah, a bag shaped like a telephone; that's new for me.
I have one shaped like a bra (kind of more of a corset, but the bodice is there) and another shaped like a boot. I'm sure there's more, but my Alzheimer's is setting in. I'll be lucid in the morning.

I like the Vivienne Westwood sweater. I also like leg warmers, though, so "am I really the best judge" is the genuine question here.

I think, like every straight man wants a Jessica Alba, most (if not, all) straight women want a Paul Rudd with a gift ribbon tied around his head. A red ribbon, but maybe that's just my personal preference.

I don't mind the odd chauvinistic joke or two, either, but I'm a wee bit wary of Superbad. The name itself indicates something to me.

I never watched My So-Called Life. But judging from that quote, I want to see it.
"So how would you describe Anne Frank?"
It caused me to spit out my beverage of choice, due to immense amounts of laughter.

I'm going to look up this Kate Nash character, seeing as Lily Allen is one of the goddesses of the sun or whatever energy form we use excessively. She's the goddess of petrol? Nah, it doesn't have the same pizzazz.

Alright, well, I'm going on blogging hiatus, due to relative visitation circumstances.

But please, don't you disappear. I'll have to get the "backcopies" of your blog. (That's right, I speak "magazine subscription".)

Lovin' the blog, Emma!
Keep at it!

Stylefinder (Editor) said...

...and never drops her obscenely messy tote and screams expletives whilst scrambling around on all fours trying to get all her stuff off the street on Madison Avenue".

- yeah, that's me. The incorrigibly clumsy, trying to be cool but tripping over her own feet while walking straight into a telephone pole kinda girl.

- and OMG I was a HUGE fan of Anne of Green gables when I was a girl. I used to want auburn hair, just like she did. My favorite part was the descriptions of the dresses...

pins&needles said...

Hey, I really love 30 Rock, despite my skepticism in the beginning but Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin won me over. I hope Alec settles his divorce and stays in the show. Not too sure if him leaving is a rumor so don't hold me against accountable.

Lovely boots! They look a lot like a pair my brother got from Hong Kong except his laced on the front.

That male model looks like a heroin junkie. Not fact, just saying.

Nothing wrong with loving My So Called Life. I liked it a lot when it was on and when it was shut off, I was sad.

Henna said...

Emmaaa! Yes, I watch 30 Rock and love it and I'm a blogger, so there. Also, I LOVE your dress selections! Please tell me you bought that $30 grey one. And that question you asked about something you fell in love with at a store: I am cringing to admit that this was an American Eagle sweater that I lovvved and my mom accidentally shrunk.

And I like the header, good job.

ambika said...

Please desist in finding such cute stuff so I don't have to eat top ramen for the rest of the month.

My best friend in high school *was* Angela Chase. Too bad I was very, very far from being Rayanne.

Isabel said...

TILA TEQUILA? I totally hate her infectious beats... "I don't wanna fuck ya man" has been in my head for three months straight and is showing no sign of letting up.
Frig, that telephone purse is badass.

I love you Emma! Your compliments always make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside!

Crazy Eddie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crazy Eddie said...

I tend to not fall into stereotypical gay life, but jeez... you are a gay man's dream come true.

Let me explain...

I can only speak for myself -- I love the company of women, women who know what style is... a woman who knows what she's talking about... and a woman who's gorgeous. And by gorgeous, I don't mean typical gorgeous. I'm talking true beauty, not just surface beauty. You fit the bill my dear...

Looking forward to seeing Superbad, although I think it might be the more juvenile of the trio (40-year-old virgin, Knocked up).


Jamie said...

That DVF skirt is hot. And so are cardigans. Rock your inner English teacher, Emma!

fashionista said...

ohhhh its all gorgeous. i too feel extremely awkward while in barneys. they all *look* at me...i dont like it.

This Girl said...

The DVF skirt is luscious. As is 30 Rock and My So-Called Life, I still haven't gotten over its cancellation. I own Frye boots and I love, worship, and adore them, so does my mother it is one of our few commonalities.

pinkmilk said...

I LOVE that white top and am SO going to be doing lots of waist belts this Autumn as have had it with feeling like I am seven months gone in smock tops, however easy to wear they are when you have no inspiration for workwear on a Wednesday morning.

Mr. John Steed said...


Rollergirl said...

Hey Emma,
I just tagged you with a Rockin' Girl Blogger tag but...you've been tagged already! Doh. Oh well, at least you know I was thinking of you. Loving your work...

spacenettle said...

it's Touche19!
My blog mysteriously (ala lipstick lady....eeegads! Blogger really needs to get that fixed :[ . ) got deleted and now I am wondering aroud the blogosphere!!!
It is rather dreadful, but at least it is an excuse to create an entirely new account once my new school year starts in Seattle.
But no worries, I am still here, and I am still groveling at your blog's feet, as always!
I should be back up and running in no time!

We shall storm Barney's together someday in the near future....

Anonymous said...

haha that was hilarious! well you always are hilarious, but this one was truly great :) seriously, i needed it after realizing i did the wrong hw for AP stats gah!

the phone tote bag is genius!

indie said...

oh my god, you are so right about the tote bags and how roomy they are and how they trick you to throw some three books there, just in case you find the first and second one boring, but still need something to read. Except my tote bags are canvas bags.

And my friend actually owns one of those "phone" bags!!! It's crazy, hard to get used to. Weird. And hers isn't even red, its very peasant-y.

buttonsandstars said...

Ooooh, I love the telephone bag! It's fabulous.
I also have a ridiculous love for that Chloe dress, which I keep on seeing everywhere. It's like it's following me around and crying "Buy me! Buy me! Who cares about debt anyway?!"
It's been such a long time since I read your blog, and I'm so glad I had a look again! You have a highly amusing way of writing!

Belle said...

Okay so I have never been on popgloss.com and i ask myself WHY?!? i mean why didnt i know about this website sooner. okay, anyway I want a tote bag, but I have yet to find the PERFECT tote bag, I can never choose. But how else am I going to carry around that random green flip flop I ask myself. :P

Hayley said...

Oh my goodness I am so in love with that pill-bottle dress. It would be worth braving the upholstery fabric in order to swan around like some kind of sexy 1950s librarian.

And the new header is tres chic!

lalaliu said...

( oh shiznit I that was too many "omg's" that I now sound like a bratz doll if they could speak with those oversized lips)

I WANT THAT TELEPHONE PURSE to match with my lobster headband. I can just be one surreal girl. I wanna go shopping now after looking at all those pictures. I want to go to a barneys and storm in there to try on all those clothes "watch, I'm hormonal and I'm GOING TO SHOP now get out of my way men in suits"

P.S I have awarded you Rockin Blogger AWARD because you rock my socks

Anonymous said...

this post was fantastic inspiration as I head off for a day of back to work shopping. Since I get to work at cool designer label now I need some major style so I can look as envious as a Barney's Bitch. That's kind of hard though since I am sweet as maple sugar candy.

alexgirl said...

Love the new header.
My faves from this post:
Dirty Dancing reference, because that movie was amazing and you equated Baby to a dress. Genius.
Anne of Green Gables, because i used to be oddly obsessed with that book/movie series.
Those freaking amazing shoes.
My So Called Life. God, why did it have to end so soon. Jordan Catalano will ALWAYS be in my top five hottest guys ever.
But... i'm sad that you didn't like superbad. Immature and penisy:yes. But hilarious:yes! I love Michael Sera from Arrested Development because that show was the freakin' bizzomb.

Moose on the Loose said...

Wow that Marc Jacobs dress and those Frye boots are a match made in heaven...soulmates. Fun post!

Maddy said...

I watch 30 Rock. AND Reno 911. I thought Superbad was funny, but I have a ridiculously high tolerance for penis jokes. However, the first time I went to see it, my friend who I was with said it was stealing her childhood, so we too snuck into Stardust. Which I love love loved, much more than Superbad, which I saw anyways later that week. Old Navy has cute, cheap tights right now (of the footed variety. I hate when they say "footless tights" on the label, when inside I am thinking, YOU LYING FOOLS. THEY ARE LEGGINGS). I am planning to go out and get a few pairs later today. For $6.50 a pop, why not?

Mrs Fashion said...

Monopoly man! He's cute.

mushroommeadows said...

I agree with you; tote bags are awesome! :)

Meg said...

I DID want to be Claudie Kishi. I was always jealous of her interesting ethnicity, her creativity, and she was apparently gorgeous. I agree with Miss Zoe that the rest were weiners. She definately ditched them later in high school.
I loved Kate Nash until about two months ago when I got sick of hearing that song played over and over again, and watching the video repeatedly too...the video is great though.
I'm feeling your covert name Amme.

-S said...

a yellow trench? i love love love trenches in bright coours. and, very in this season might i add.
and the von furstenburg skirt? i looooove!

Jennifer said...

I still love looking at these lovely picturs!

La ReinaLexa said...

Claudia Kishi was totally kickass.

And oh yeah, this post was so awesome, I cried the entire time. Hah! Just kidding. I'm sick, my face is like, leaking. Sorry, that's the nicest way I could put that without sounding disgusting.

Back to the BSC thing...Stacy was my fav. She was "more sophisticated" than the others. And I quote that.

Yeah, you've turned me around from Superbad. I haven't seen it, but I've started to get annoyed by all the actors from it I've seen on Late-night TV...they all have the same stories to tell and it's getting old. Give me a romantic comedy ANY DAY.

Cris Lazoru said...

Adore the post as usual. all the stuff was lovely! Loved your alter ego Amme and the Babby sitters club reference, I was a Dawn fan! Can you image? I don't really know why. . . uhmmm


Carolina Lange said...

Love the header!
This is another hilarious post! You have a great sence of humor! Love the part about Barneys!
Great pics, that Marc Jacobs dress is so cute!

sara said...

Love the new header.

And are you kidding me how 30 rock, rocks there has to be like a ton of people who watch. I love it. Kate Nash is super awesome she like a mix of Lily Allen and Fiest. I guess I'll have to be careful with Superbad since I am a tough critic on funny movies (I've never been able to watch an entire Will Ferrell movie). But I guess the penis jokes do explain why all the guys at my high school keep on saying it's the funniest f***ing movie.

x sara o

-ciao bella- said...

lurrrvvvveee that video= hilarious. and i just spent about 20 minutes laughing about that whole barney's co-op experience... so funny. fab post

maya said...

i went to see kate nash a few weeks ago and she was really good.
i posted a picture, maybe you saw it?
i think you should make a remake of dirty dancing with the dress and boots. i would definately watch it.
me and my friends got really told off for sitting on the floor in the designer section of the gallerie lafayette in paris. posh people scare me, especially french ones.
i know exactly how you feel about people that work in someshops being cool. in dover street market (the coolest most expensivest designeriest shopping centre in london, or maybe the world) everyone is so cool they should all be given cool awards, not joking.

jackie ♥ said...

love the telephone bag. great job on the entry!


The Redheaded Bandit said...

ok, frst i hrt that Marc Jacobs lace dress. scnd that pill bottle drss rox mi sox! blog on

L. said...

I never know where to start with your posts. So many great ideas and suggestions and hilarious quips. Your life should be a TV show, with you doing the voice-overs. It would be amazing.

Love the shoes and the telephone handbag, specially.

alluretone said...

haha i love the mean girl referece and the navy coat from suzabelle is soo gorgeous. i would love to look like michelle pfeiffer when i age. superbad was pretty funny i thought.

Sarissa Carlsson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Secret Agent said...

God, and I thought my blogs were long. Anyways...I didn't read through all the clothing commentary... but, I did read about Superbad. I think you were very stupid for walking out of an awesome movie. Penis and vagina jokes...no one gets sick of them! ALright, fine, maybe you did.

In Vancouver, the only nice clothing store that's similar to Barney's is Holt Renfrew...and I get pretty crappy service.

"Geez, man, maybe I would have bought that tattered Alexander McQueen cardigan for $500, if you didn't give such bad service!"

Okay, fine...I would have never bought something that's $500.

Bergdorf Girl said...

Ok. LOVE this post.

admireably witty!!

and ditto on the evil barneys stares, i think they do that no matter what you wear..it's like a requirement. but i too wonder do they go to some special school of hair and outfit perfection before being allowed to work the floor?

love the B's C also, those were the days.

PS LOVE the new header!

xo, BG

Bojana said...

Hahaha your miles-long posts are always such a pleasure to read! You always make me giggle, seriously.

And, huh, that DVF dress is so FETCH. Seriously. And the funky shoes even more.

ps : yes we do like the new header

maya said...

i have no idea where touche19 went. i am on a mission to find out. has anyone told you anthing?

Curiosity.Killer said...

me likey new header, chloe dress, miu miu pumps, and your humor. Is that all the stuff that goes through your head when you go shopping?

I would love for you to pick out the perfect red lipstick for me. Seriously.

The Narcist said...

Love the new header although I never saw the one before it. It did catch my eye immeadiately though.

of course we can exchange links, anybody who quotes jessie spano in her profile needs to be blog rolled.

@ evie the only cool people that exist are fans of anne of green gables. DUH!!!

G.G. said...

Love the header, and this was a marvellous post. Never let ANYONE tell you you can't wear pencil skirts. I just love that DVF!

molly said...

i wish we were both lesbians so we could get married

in canadian its legal!

Emma said...

Thanks for all the kind comments, guys! But I won't be posting much for a bit. I'm sorry :^)

Victor said...

how can you hate so much that you want them dead. What did Tila do to you?

molly said...

see thats why i love you! (in a sexless marriage kind of way)
you have the greatest ideas

Fabi said...

tila tequila! I always wonder why everyone I know on myspace has her as a friend...why?!!!

I think we have our very own version of "barney's" here in Ceiba, a boutique called "actualite" which i don't understand because their supposedly designer clothes are like 3 seasons old...but I say that from what I've seen on the window displays cause I've never dared to go in. heheh. the thrift store is right around the corner anyway ;)
I love the dresses by the way!!

Katie Rosemary said...

j'adore the new header, tis vair pretty
also, the aunt edna/parisian outfit... parisian. definitely. But then maybe I'm biased because I would gladly walk across hot coals for it
I often fall in love with items i see... in fact I started stroking the screen of my computer upon seeing that telephone bag! It is pure brilliance
Fab post as always darling!

molly said...

im going to update (like a million times) as soon as my school gives me a new computer!
i have loads of great ideas

boy clive sounds great....youre dead on about princey and his raspberry beret
the "I LOVE MOLLY" is in nutella so i can lick it off too!

Françoise said...

God, how I miss reading your blog. I Change mine..even the andress.


Secret Agent said...

Why no update?

Dilemma said...

"Hmm," he thinks, "I must reward Emma for her mediocre behavior with a fantastically expensive pair of shoes. And perhaps a Jacuzzi filled with hundred-dollar-bills and Crunchie bars. And a diamond pony. And Paul Rudd with a gift ribbon tied around his head."


Amanda said...

since i couldn't find a contact link, i'm forced to drop you a line via your latest posting. found you via painfully hip (love those gals!... hysterical ramblings! i love your style- part thinking out loud, part journal,part fashion commentary, and snarky. so great! keep up the good work... it's nice to find other bloggers who think along the same lines!

maya said...

Emma I know this post was seriously long but where in gods name are you?
I have things to discus with you like
please come back soon!
you alanna molly and touche19 have all abandoned me and i feel so alone in the blogosphere

alexgirl said...

hey queen of blogtopia, where have you been? hope all's well and you're just too busy and fabulous to post.

molly said...

arg just as you go away, i come back!

La ReinaLexa said...

POST SOMETHING! I'm suffering from lack of literature!


indie said...

emma emma emma where are you??

but I think I'm going to go trough archives until you come back.

dreamecho said...

hi emma, i have modified my blog name and address. do you think you can update your blogroll? i used to be "dreamachine", but here's my new info:

blog name: dreamecho
blog address: http://hello-dreamecho.blogspot.com

thank you very much!

Q said...

You went to Co-op and didn't buy me anything ? SHAME.

etoilee8 said...

Emma, I could make you that pencil skirt. It would take an afternoon, providing shiny brass buttons were easy to find. Your blog makes me laugh and I think you are deserving of a pencil skirt, so if we ever meet, hold me to it.

SICK. said...

i love chloé dresses.
but i'm sorry to say i don't watch 30 rock, but i do watch the office?
it's good too.
and arrested development.


Crazy Eddie said...

I've always considered myself a bag of mixed nuts. LOL.

Love your choices in fashion honey. You have classic style for such a youngin'...

While some of the articles surpassed any fashion knowledge beyond the above average homo wisdom, I enjoyed the pretty colors.

I swear I'm gay, just a bit more rugged that's all...


-S said...

agreed, where did la vie compliquee go? i loved her blog. and you my dear need a new post! i'm going under withdrawl. please!?

ashley heaton said...

i LOVE that marc dress, i saw it in macy's a few days ago and definitely coveted it. ;)

also - i have several new public posts up at the new blog!

Carolina Lange said...

You have to post again soon!

Diana @ So Fash'on said...

you seem to be quite popular:) well, cute blog! maybe we could exchange link?
aaa, btw. am loving the new header too!

Lizy said...

Hey excellent blog..nice pics..love those dresses..going crazy about for those
shoes,they are awesome.

The Stiletto Effect said...

I miss your posts!

Maddy said...

Emma. Get your butt back to blogging. I need your blog if I am going to survive the school year, dammit!

Jennifer said...

superbad is such a funny movie
where is that telephone purse from?
post again soon!

Maddy said...

Don't be silly! Of course I wouldn't be mad if you mentioned the incomparable Mr. Krasinski in your next post- spread the love around! By the way, WHEN IS YOUR NEXT POST? I believe I have already made it quite clear that you need to return to blogging. Now.

molly said...

my life is incomplete without you emma

fashionista said...


Anonymous said...

I miss My So Called Life.
and your fashion choices are lovely.
especially the colorful shoes =]

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Emma, what's happened to you? Post soon, please...

La ReinaLexa said...


riz said...

we heart you!!! where are you. hopefully safe and sound :)

Eritia said...


you have to return to our little blogging world!
no posts in almost two months?
i hope you're okay

molly said...

are you still alive?

fashionista said...

if you dont get your butt back to blogger, then we'll all commit suicide.

Meg said...

I'm wasted. It's 5.41am and I miss you and your blog a lot. Please come back. It's impossible to define the blogging world wihtout you...My earphones gave me an eletric shock, isn't that weird? Come back. Pronto.

Letitia said...

Yeah seriously, where are you!? And by the way, my maternal eartic strange yet understandable love for you and your blog has led me to make you aware of the shameless acts of this person http://whackaweeza.blogspot.com/ who has taken your claim to fame!! Did you know she had the same name as you subtracting the word 'here' or is this secretly you hiding from us in GA? Hmmm, just come back..I'm almost done reading the whole archives...okay not really, but I will be and I will be very upset if you are not back by then with fresh witty inspiring posts..and yes I am a fast reader so be scared...

Lindsey said...

dang! 102 comments! you've got quite the following!

yes i do enjoy the steel magnolias quote. one of my favorite movies and so appropriate for a blog title.

your blog is witty. you do a great job. :)

Frapp said...

The worrying can stop! I myself am a Brit (I know, don't find many of us around do you?) and they have most definitely NOT discontinued Cadbury's Creme Eggs, they couldn't possibly do that! It's practically illegal in this country, their that popular! Your Mum was just probably having trouble finding them as they can come in slightly short supply if it's not very close to Easter. I'll go out and buy one tomorrow and think of you, okay? =)

Anonymous said...

Lacoste polo shirts to the people's feeling is natural and pro-and the Burbrery polos comfortable, affordable good wear burberry polo shirt both in Europe and the United States or Asia, almost Everyone must become a wardrobe in the style of clothing! There are so many beautiful coat, but also with the needs of others can be more perfect. Levi jeanshave a straight trouser leg, it looks clean and able; Diesel Jeans and Levis Jeansis pet fashion, elegance and fashion, with a polo shirt and holding babolat aeropro driveor cheap tennis racquets, what you can think of.

Anonymous said...

Ed hardy shirts to tattoos tattoo art and graffiti into the street among the ed hardy clothes. Puma basketby the majority of consumers, Puma basket of products that were sold out on a listing. Cheap puma shoes and match various types of clothing, belts, cheap jacket, Wholesale Handbags, watches, pens and other products are also beautifully designed, excellent technology, elegant shape. People buy nike max shoes, they are also no longer pick Association other goods.