Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I'm such an enormous tool.

I pull the blog equivalent of a one-night-stand morning-after Walk Of Shame- bolting out the door without so much as a Post-It stuck to the refrigerator- and now here I am begging forgiveness? Well, any women's magazine will tell you that if a man ever does this to you, you must knee him swiftly in the "downstairs department", as my aunt would call it, and move on. But, please, do not kick me away because I'm a bad, negligent blogger! Blog-wise, I'm sitting in the back of the trailer in a wifebeater T-shirt sipping a beer and belching while I watch dog shows on TV; THAT'S how much of a Deadbeat Dad blogger I am.
But now I'm back! From outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face, I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have...NO. Look, this is not supposed to be about me singing Gloria Gaynor.
I have returned, and although I really can't say my posts will be at all frequent- I'm sorry, I really hate to postpone blogging and I promise I'll try to use downtime to concoct some good old-fashioned crazy just like Momma used to make, but I'm just so busy these days with extracurriculars, work and the like that I think most of my blogs would go along the lines of "FNAAARGH FIFTEEN THINGS TO DO FOR TOMORROW IT'S FOUR A.M. AND NOW I REALLY NEED TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS OH LOOK THE SUN IS RISING HOW PRETTY I THINK A BIRD JUST FLEW BY...ZZZZZZZZZ". Honestly, my study schedule has basically comprised of drinking three iced coffees per day, staying up all night to do work and ending up out on my fire escape at sunrise with glazed-over eyes cramming candy corn into my mouth and watching The Office on my laptop.
To make up for two months of NO posts, I am going to write The Longest Post That Ever Happened In The History Of The World So Help Me God.
*In no particular order
*Not tested on animals
*Asterisks are kind of fun to look at, aren't they?
1. The Met.

You know, that big building with all the art inside it with all the hipsters smoking on the steps?
I've never been a rabid museum fan- in fact, my family and I do this thing we've invented called Culture On The Run, in which we spend as little time as possible within a museum, absorbing just enough to make us feel cultured and give us good fodder for pretentious chitchat ("Oh, yes, I just caught that marvelous Dan Flavin brilliantly minimalist, yes?") and then quickly retire to the nearest cafe/gift shop. It's pretty awesome. But I'm starting to discover that actually wandering around inside a museum for an hour or three is amazing as well. I went recently to do research for an art history project and ended up spending the day there, wandering from the Art of the Near East wing to the famous, gargantuan Damien Hirst shark (and, seriously, am I the only one who, upon seeing this piece, immediately sings in their head, "It's my shark in a box!"? Just me? Really? Okay) to Lichtenstein's Stepping Out, an insanely cool piece which I had to sketch as an assignment for my class. I wrote bad poetry and people-watched by the faux river in the Egyptian room, sprawled on the floor of the modern art wing for hours sketching (badly, but still) until my butt went numb, and felt incredibly smug and intelligent writing down observations about the reliefs of the Palace of Ashurnasirpal (and by "writing down observations", I mean "doodling my name surrounded by little flowers in the margins of my art history notebook"). Museums- not only do they allow you to walk around with a sense of entitlement and arrogantly undeserving intelligence for days after you visit them, it turns out they're actually kind of cool. Who knew?
2. Feist.

Drum roll, please. I am about to let you all in on a little secret that ABSOLUTELY NOBODY EVER KNEW UNTIL JUST NOW.
I KNOW! GROUNDBREAKING OBSERVATION! Nobody's EVER thought of that before right now, right?
Sea lion woman
She drink coffee

Sea lion woman
She drink tea
And a rooster crows
Don't ask why that song thrills me so much, but it really does.
3. My fantastic hand-me-down vintage D&G plaid shoulder bag.

I am IN MAD PASSIONATE LOVE WITH THIS BAG. Words can't even express it. Suffice it to say that each morning I wake up, look at it sitting pretty on my desk chair, and think "Today, D&G Shoulder Bag, I will go out into the world and try to make you proud." A little odd that I'm answering to a plaid bag? Perhaps. After all, it does say in Harry Potter, the Bible of us nerds (who may or may not have freakishly resembled Harry Potter in third grade, right down to the round glasses), that you shouldn't take orders from anything if you can't see where it keeps its brain. But this inanimate object is telling me to be the best that I can be, and also to wear my purple turtleneck sweater-dress with funky tights and boots and The Bag itself for as long as the weather permits me to. And I am A-OK with those instructions, cap'n. Besides, half the time I can't even see where I keep my brain.
Oh, and The Bag is exponentially cuter in person.
Notice how I'm standing, like "Yeah, I was just chilling casually against this bathroom wall here with my fabulous bag next to some towels and light fixtures...OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IS THAT A CAMERA?"
4. Tuco and Blondie jewelry.
I believe we have already discussed my profound affinity for tacky jewelry, yes? So is it any surprise that I favor necklaces with tiny moon boots, old people, gums and toothpaste tubes hanging off of them? And oh, the earrings! PHWOARRR. I need to own all of these, STAT.
5. Cadbury Creme Eggs.

I'm pretty sure the baby Jesus made these to lead me into temptation. They are the Delilah to my Samson, the snake to my Eve, the...delicious creme-filled chocolate egg to my chocolate-egg loving taste buds.
So I ran out of steam there on the metaphors.
My POINT is, on my trip to the beautiful London a couple of years ago, I lived on these shits. They made my trip. No, really, they did. I remember furtively packing a Buick-sized carton of delicious creme treats away in my bag, looking over both shoulders as if the Fatty Police was going to come and cuff me right then and there for Crimes against Cellulite. They're good. Too sweet for some, but perfect for moi.
Anyway, I got back to NYC, quaffed my carton of eggs, and then...a long, tedious egg-free dry spell happened. Just recently, however, my mother paid a visit to la belle Londres and promised to bring me back some. However, she came bearing gifts (hello, fabulous Topshop blouse! How I needed you...) and bad news...apparently the eggs have been DISCONTINUED? I am still not sure if this is true (i.e. I am in denial). I'm hoping maybe some Cadbury eggs will make an appearance here in the U.S. of A. this Easter, but until then, any lovely British friends who may be reading this, have the good grace and decency not to tell me if my beloved eggs are no more.
Here we have the brilliant BJ Novak, a man after my own heart, debating a worrisome shrink in the size of Cadbury eggs...which brings us to...
6. The Office

I've always loved The Office in a sort of noncommittal way- I'd watch an episode here and there, you know, nothing major. But lately I've signed over at least a couple of my heart's chambers to the brilliance that is The Office. I know this season's been kind of a letdown so far (even at its worst, though, The Office is still better than 90% of everything else on TV in my opinion), but I hope the return of the half-hour episode will help. That said, this show is absolutely genius. There's really nothing else I can say, because there's TOO MUCH GOOD. Okay, I'll just say this. Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!

There ain't no party like a Scranton party, 'cause a Scranton party don't stop.
Oh, and much like my esteemed colleague Maddy, I LOVE John Krasinski. Watch this show and see why. By the way, can we all be in agreement that a certain movie we'll call...Schmisence to Schmed with a certain young actress we'll call...Candy Floor, never happened? Great. Thanks.

7. This pretty, pretty underwear set.
I believe it was the ancient Latin philosophers who said "Wear-us every day a set-us of expensiv-us underwear-us and thee shall conquer the minotaurs and defeat the three-pronged beasties of the sea".
Was it not?
Seriously, though, I think if every woman in the world was allowed to own this extremely funky neon blue boy-shorts-and-bra set, there would be so many less cases of seething ex-wives running their ex-husbands' mistresses down in their pickup trucks and stuff. Women would probably just exchange friendly handshakes and be like, "Hey, win some, lose some. Put 'er there, pardner. Now let's go cure cancer."
Well, maybe the underwear isn't quite that healing. But still.
By the way, the boy shorts are actually called "lady pants," which for some reason has made me laugh madly for the past five minutes. God, I am four years old.
But...lady pants! Hee!
8. Vynl.
If you live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, or even just frequent it for Sunday brunch, you know that from approximately eleven to two on weekends all the chic little cafes and family-style diners around the tree-lined 70s become screaming masses of writhing children and beleaguered parents, punctured by bumper-to-bumper stroller traffic. Not exactly a peaceful environment. Last weekend, after walking from restaurant to restaurant in futile pursuit of a calm environment, my friends and I finally stumbled across Vynl. We had our doubts, at first, but it turned out to be the coolest place. Everything is sparkly and lava-lampified, my menu had Duran Duran on it and our waiter looked like Mick Jagger. In short; eat here. Now. Do it now. Now. Now. You won't be sorry. Oh, and get the milkshake. It's otherworldly.
9. My sparkly shoes!
These don't look that fabulous in the picture (perhaps it's the proximity to the towel?) but I assure you, they are quite mesmerizing. They're so beautifully sparkly that I can't stop staring at them- yesterday I wore them to school and became so entranced by the glittering of my own feet that I almost plowed down a tour group of prospective students. Oops. If you don't own a pair of glittery shoes, you should really invest in them tout suite.
10. HEE!!! I found this little picture when I Googled "raspberry beret." I don't really think any more needs to be said. Sometimes, God bless it, the funny just takes care of itself.
11. Arrested Development.
It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face...this show is pure, unadulterated genius. I still fly into sporadic rages over the fact that it never got the acclaims it deserved. Honestly, much like "Little Miss Sunshine," this show hits a little close to home re. my insane family. It's PERFECT. I'm even in a Facebook group called "Addicted to Quoting Lines from Arrested Development." Then again, I am also in a Facebook group called "Steak is KICK ASS." But, come on...steak is pretty kick ass. And I bet you never even stopped to think about it, did you?
12. Regina Spektor.
Is it getting predictable and weird yet that I mention her in every post? Probably, huh? I DON'T CARE. She played at the Hammerstein Ballroom this month. AND I MISSED IT. Anger. Much anger.
I've taken to doodling the lyrics to her songs when I'm bored in class, and you know what? The lady is a real poet.

SIGHTINGS- This girl at my school who always turns up in fantastic outfits was wearing a funky silky blue dress, brown leather Frye cowboy boots and blue knee socks today. It sounds ugly, but it was startlingly cool. Needless to say, I will now be hero-worshipping said girl for the rest of the year. Also, I've been seeing a lot more fabulosity and atrocity since I started taking the subway more. Good- girl in a knit bright yellow minidress with mustard-colored tights and fawn-colored suede boots. Okay, that sounds bad too- maybe because in no conceivable way, shape or form can the word "mustard" carry positive connotations- but it was stunningly cool. Bad- girl of ten or so in a rhinestone-encrusted miniskirt with a "Little Princess" tee and black leggings with sneakers. Any parents reading this; the fight against leggings starts at home. I realize that when you are a kid you can wear what you want and be footloose and fancy-free and frolic in the meadows wearing footless tights and such, but lines have to be drawn somewhere. OH, and speaking of Footloose...which we were, kind of...I TOTALLY SAW KEVIN BACON AND KYRA SEDGWICK ON THE STREET.
'Twas awesome. I was too afraid of annoying them to go up to them (God forbid), but it was still cool.

CURRENT ATTIRE- Simply enormous sweatpants. SO COMFORTABLE. Can't even imagine changing back into real pants anytime in the near future. They're so large that they actually act as slippers; they blanket my feet. Red Old Navy tank top. High ponytail. Tired. So tired.

Emma (notice how I didn't say Gossip Girl, because that would be toolish? But I wanted to. God, that show is like some mystifying television version of Peruvian cocaine that's been smuggled into the country and intermittently foisted upon us sweet unsuspecting viewers. It is ABSOLUTELY ADDICTIVE. And it's on in, like, two hours). Adieu pour le moment, sweet readers!


Flashy_Shades said...

so funny, i just saw jenny and chuck at the union square movie theater last weekend

fashionista said...


gonna read the post now!

fashionista said... not the first anymore... =[ oh well.

fashionista said... is an amazing post!

Christine said...

glad you're back! i passed up some sparkly shoes today at urban, but i have been double-guessing myself all day...after reading about your shoes, i think i must got back and get them!

maudrey said...

hehe raspberry berets and cadbury creme eggs! the perfect post!

Moose on the Loose said...

Yay you're back!

Oh my gosh, Gossip Girl is amazing! I can't wait for the episode tonight, it looks like a return to the earky drama and catfights of the first few episodes. The last two episodes have been good, but too sweet and cute. Know what I mean?

Anyways, ya the office is awesome, I was actually just watching it while I was reading your post. I'm so happy Jim+Pam are together!

Awesome post!

The Clothes Horse said...

so much to love this this post! The jewelry of #4, Regina and Feist... The only thing better than Cadbuery eggs--Kinder Eis.

jayne said...

OMFG! YOU'RE BACK! FINALLY BACK! AHH! YAY! this made my day! seriously, when you have 15more years of physics and stats studying crammed into 2 hrs anything is salvation.

i just actually went to the MET last weekend, the damien hirst shark scared the crap out of me, b/c when you are looking at the corners of the glass box and then turn the corner, the shark looks huge and menacing, haha well maybe you have to be there, but it does pop out at you!

haha rasberry beret, whoever did that is genius and has too much time on their hands haha

fiest- addictive, somehow calms me down when i feel like im drowining in college apps, ironically listening to 1234 as i type this, total coincidence!

speaking of celeb sightings i just spotted katie holmes and suri the perfect child, last weekend while i was in nyc. it made my trip and my life haha. they were eating ice cream sundaes at serindipity, so adorable, she was so sweet and chic.

CountryGirl_CityLife said...

you're back bitch, I love it! Missed you much! f'n goosip girl is da bomb and I am way too old for that shiz but still LOVE, addicted to la bone.

I love your post, all of it, to the very last itty bitty period. Brilliant, you are, my dear emma.

any antm fave this season?

Heather said...

Feist! the Office! Lik exchange for sure!

Isabel said...

So glad you're back! I swear, I was thisclose to posting about how much I missed you! Your D&G bag is precisely five thousand kinds of awesome. I love it, plaid is so essential.

P.S.: It's easy to be cool when you live in a city with only 46 000 people. You live in NYC, where everyone is fab! Including you, Emma! BTW, I'm going to NYC in April 2008 - you must give me a list of awesome insider spots to hit up...

mushroommeadows said...

I'm so glad you found some time to blog; I especially love the raspberry beret guy. Like you mentioned, the picture, in itself, explains its humor. I love it.

Also, I love the Office, and I can only watch it on my laptop. :( But the internet connection has to be good or else it's very annoying.

Try to get some sleep. :)

Blue Floppy Hat said...

That sounds like some holiday...but it's amazing to have you back.
And lady pants? They're seriously called that? I mean, the rest of the post had my full attention, but I'm kind of fixating on the lady pants bit because it's making me come dangerously close to having my coffee shoot up my nose.

Ba Doozer said...

well at least your not doin the pixie dust spreadin on the tiltowhirl and barking for the yak woman on the side...glad to see you again!

katie-lilga said...

yayness for the being backness!

so the creme egg issue...well i live in ireland and they make creme eggs all the more desirable and special by turning them into some kind of limited edition egg shaped treat. technically they only come out round easter time, probably starting round january or february and you can find the odd one still rolling about the shops come summer time. so i guess thats what they meant by discontinued. although if they meant proper proper discontinued for ever and ever and INFINITY i will be severely PISSSSSED OFF.

Molly ;) said...

Fantastic post, as usual ;)
They never fail to amuse me!!

glam-o-holic said...

You are naughty. Chain yourself to the computer and blog til your brain falls out because otherwise I have nothing funny/silly to read. We clear? Ok good.

Sparkly shoes make life good.

Mrs Fashion said...

Ok, first things first: Cadbury's Creme Eggs are NOT discontinued! They just come instore in the run up to Easter - so that's from January then.

To atone for your lack of blogging I propose a swap. I will send you a dozen sweet, creamy Creme Eggs - and my forgiveness for lack of posts - and you will send me your D&G bag. Because I want it and could also make it proud.
Deal or no deal?

Mrs F x

my empty closet said...

love the met, love the bag!!! prefer the peanut butter eggs to the cream ones tho..haha

molly said...

last night i read your comment
and i was like "no...i cant read her post now. i need something to motivate me to get out of bed tomorrow morning."

then i had a fitiful restless night, waiting, wondering. was it a long post? a short? a post saying she was retiring? would it be as funny as her old ones? would she mention raspberry beret?

and now ive read the post...excuse me, ill comment properly later
i have to go cry from profound joy for a while

molly said...

ok, ready to comment properly:

you dont have to go all the way to london for cadbury eggs! (though, really, its quite glamorous) we've got em in canada! you live in new york? heyy, thats close!
if you want them so bad, you can crawl over the borders...get caught.. "but officer, i need my fix. those eggs, i gotta have em"
speaking of canada...its so nice to see feist out there representing. i always get stressed that we've getting repped by avril lavigne and nickelback. its godawful. but then i see someone like feist, and its a relief.

molly said...

ew...obviously that was meant to read
IM so happy youre back

Letitia said...

what can I say that hasnt already been said...well fiance was on the comp last night so i hadnwrote my post for tomorow and diligently placed you in the synonpsis as my dear friend who i believe to be kidnapped..abducted...anything of the whom, well it will be revealed later..glad you are back!! only reason to get me browsing other blogs in the first place...and yes yes yes, i was at work yesterday and saw a box of..wait for it..cardbury!! ok not the eggs, but the chocolate is the same and oh so it wrong to steal 11 when it comes with 20 and they are in the break room for everyone? (note so elf: must now find manners for young women blog)

Letitia said...

what can I say that hasnt already been said...well fiance was on the comp last night so i hadnwrote my post for tomorow and diligently placed you in the synonpsis as my dear friend who i believe to be kidnapped..abducted...anything of the whom, well it will be revealed later..glad you are back!! only reason to get me browsing other blogs in the first place...and yes yes yes, i was at work yesterday and saw a box of..wait for it..cardbury!! ok not the eggs, but the chocolate is the same and oh so it wrong to steal 11 when it comes with 20 and they are in the break room for everyone? (note so elf: must now find manners for young women blog)

Jamie said...

She returns! It is good to have you back posting. I missed your incredibly hilarious and sharply witty self.

Love Gossip Girl. I am a Gossip Girl crackhead.

riz said...

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! You r back! Hope to hear lots more from you . You make me laugh all the time. Oh and I agree about Gossip Girl. it's the highlight of my week.

Romeika said...

I really loved the bag, i have a thing for plaids, and the shoes look adorable. As for the museum, it must be awesome. I adore museums, too bad there aren't so many where i live. I haven't seen "Gossip Girl" yet, but i'd like to try it sometime.

Carolina Lange said...

I'm so glad you are back with your amazing posts!
Love the plaid bag!!!

Eritia said...

thank god!
we thought you had died

good post, good post
the lego man had to be my favorite.

La ReinaLexa said...

You're alive! Yay!

You make me wish I lived in NYC more and more. That place is like a GIGANTIC playground for eanyone and everyone.

I can't look at clothes right now...I haven't any money...but your stuff is fabutastic.

I understand the school thing...ugh, I hate school.

Francisca said...

Welcome :)

Secret Agent said...'re such a funny writer. Gloria Gaynor calls for everyone.

The Narcist said...


I was wondering how you could introduce me to greatness and then cut me off so suddenly without a warning. You know I have an addictive personality (maybe you dont know but you should) and I get attached easily. Speaking of addictive, I've never had the courage to tell anybody this but I'm madly, passionately in love wiht the show Gossip Girl. And who doesn't love sparkly shoes? I just bought some in black, I call them (I name my shoes) my Naughty Dorthies because I feel like clicking them everytime I wear them!

-S said...

OMG! you are back. i think i can seriously start dancing with joy over your new post! it has been way way waaaaay too long!

pinup_girl said...

OH MY GOD. This is insane. Your blog makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD, literally. You are extremly witty and your writing style is fabulous! I know, I've probobly told you that a million times. But truly, it's unbelievable how well you but together every entry. You are simply amazing : ]

By the way- They sell Cadbury's eggs around Easter time where I live. We both live in New York sounds good!

Hayley said...

Hell yes there ain't no party like a Scranton party! *dances like a loon*. Oh The Office, you will never stop being awesome. Ditto Arrested Development - I can't see anyone getting into a van without thinking, "Then, mistaking a group of garishly dressed men for pirates, Tobias boarded a van full of homosexuals." LOVE!

Very pleased you're blogging again, too, especially with such an awesome post!

Robin said...

I love footloose more than everything ever.

Also, they used to have Cadbury eggs year round? I would be so happy/rotund if that were the case here.

Tru said...

that D&G bag is completly fab and the shoes don't look to shabby either

curiositykiller said...

It's not THAT long. Heee.

I love that you love Feist. The first time I spotted Feist was during a fashion show which she performed Sea Lion woman -- that was right before her 1st commercial CD drop -- and sea lion woman wasn't even recorded till the 2nd album. It was totally awesome.

And so fitting to read that you love her on your totally fashionably speaking blog. Love love love. Have yourself a good school term. I feel for ya.

WAT said...

Amen. The raspberry Lego dude was a hoot!

Yes, it's good to see yet another long rant my dear!

Dilemma said...

I thought Bratz dolls that you trashed came to life and killed you like something out of Child's Play and that we were never going to see you again!

Your D&G bag is so fabulous. I swear, every girl at my school has this tacky logofied D&G bag and I thought it forever poisioned me from liking their bags.

Maddy said...

Sigh. I guess we'll just have to share custody of John Krasinski and his adorable nose, huh? Oh and by the way TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO POST IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS JEEZ

AsianCajuns said...

Great post - I love everything about it - especially The Office and Arrested Development shout-outs. Those are the absolute best shows around.

indie said...

Thank god you're back!
I am devastated. What are we going to do, next gossip girl episode isn't untill 7th November??? I'm going to die, the teaser on youtube is full of drama and everything!!!!

Juliet said...

thank you so much for the comment !

juliet xxx

Netchem said...

Hey your back!!!!!to stay I hope=O

Francisca said...

God! Your blog is brilliant and it was worth the time I wait, checking it everyday to see if you had write something. :D You should really keep my old Blog name, Genuine Inspiration. XX

KiKi said...

Yeah your back

Gryphon said...

I love Chuck. Especially his natty basketball outfit in Episode 4. I've never seen anything like it, and I used to work with Damon Jones.

gilda said...

i have some of those tuco and blondie necklaces!! i love them!

coco said...

i love your shoulder bag
and i went to the met when i was in nyc this year and i loved it

Belle said...

the fight against leggings starts at home and crimes against celluite made me piss my pants. i love your blog.

veronica darling said...

emma, I've been really bad at blogging too - love your posts and thanks for my comments way back when xoxo

Alanna said...

dude, i thought you had like disappeared. worrying thoughts... ANYWAYS, i really have to get back onto the blogging circuit as well, i comment people occasionally because i just miss the blog world so much (i know, i'm sad) but then kind of forget to post... sigh.
so, funTABULOUS news dahling, i'm going to new york city (is it weird that i say the city part too? because i feel that if i just say 'new york' when referring to actually manhattan to a real new yorker, it could be potentially offensive? because i mean, a lot of canadians get offended when people call canada america. but thats just because people who call it that are ignorant but anyway, what was I talking about? yeah, so, new york city? new york? manhattan? i like to learn ettique before i go to a place. WHY WILL I NOT STOP TALKING) this december!!! is that not like, awesome?
yes, so i'm counting on you to tell me all the awesome places to shop/eat. plus my hotel is like, next to the new york public library, is that a fun place to go to? i haven't really been to a library in a while.
yes, my dad thinks i'm obsessed with the internet (rightly so), so i is counting on me to magically find out where to go when in new york, but i... um, don't. so, any help would be appreciated!
yeah, i asked my mom if we were going to the met but she gets really overwhelmed with huge mueseums (and i get hugely lost inside big buildings. i have awful spacial awareness and sense of direction) so i think we're going to the museum of modern art and the guggenheim. any good do you know?
also, my parents are refusing to go to central park zoo with me. foolish people...
wow, i think i really outdid myself in the long comment stakes here, a new world record!!

Teresa said...

Everything you say I resonate with. I LOVE FEIST and her line dancing music video for 1234! And Gossip Girl = addiction. Seriously I don't know why, but the appeal of way too rich waspy hot teenagers with all sorts of sexual/fashion complexs is too hard to ignore.
And THE OFFICE GOD that show is so effing great.
"Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch! "
God Kelly Kapoor is sooo cute, in a desperate, idiotic, reading-magazines-at-work kinda way. I see many characteristics of her in myself, (may not be a good thing).
And John Krasinski, ooooh I want to do things to him.

Bojana said...


You're a genius. Seriously. How do you do this? I like how spontaneous and effortless your wrting seems. And that jewelry is WOW. Seriously.

I bow to you. (is that gramatically correct? I don't even know if the verb to bow exists

Alanna said...

well i will have to make an alanna sign because, i think good gravy quite possibly could be the coolest thing anyone could say to me. ever.
apart from maybe christian bale saying 'will you marry me?'. OK, OK, i will post, i've been putting it off for a while but i suppose i will

Joy said...

Glad you're back - fabulous post as always, and Culture on the Run cracked me up!! Man, I love gift shops :)

Emily Lin said...

Glad that you're back! Nice shoulder bag! Love it. Oh and your sparling shoes are lovely! BTW, I should give you a big hug and thank you for mentioning Regina Spektor because I've got all of her album now and she is SO AMAZING! Love her song and thanks for the recommendation! :D I like her "Begin To Hope" the most :)

pins&needles said...

You are too hilarious! Don't feel bad about loving Feist. They've just recently been a media whore. They're first album is freakin' awesome and they do a good Bee Gees cover in it.

Plus, I've been a bad blogger too. I get very little sleep and I stay up too late hanging out with my friends.

Alanna said...

you watch SNL i'm hoping? HOW HOT IS ANDY SAMBERG. please verify that I'm not the only one?? it's crazy but if the time comes, I may choose him over christian bale. I know, I know, but i think it may be true...

maya said...

I am so rediculously ecstatic that you are back.
i love cadburys cream eggs so much.
the problem with your blog is that by the time i've got to the end of a post i've forgotten what was at the top. don't worry though, i love your posts.
and i love the fact that fasionista is so excited about being the first and she's not.
oh my i'm such a bitch.
i didn't mean it in a bitchy way or anything. you understand right?

Vintage Bunny said...

I was beginning to get worried about you!!!
But you came back with a great post!!!

bigglassesgirl said...

too lazy to read all the comments to see if anyones mentioned that cadbury eggs are available in canada around eastertime. Fantastic

Q said...

We think alike in a lot of ways, about the Met, Jim Halpert, FEIST... but not Regina Spektor. For some reason, she's kind of out there for me.

The Redheaded Bandit said...

ur probably like the only bl ogger who has so many comments that it takes an hr. to read them. anyway, FABULOUS POST!!!!!! i LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEED it! the office, feist, art museums and more.....*sigh*.... i loooooovvvvveeee the office. it is the most brilliantly amzingly awesomely radically fabulous show EVER!!! did i mention HI-larious. i luv feist as well, her music video 4 1234 is so coolio. that shark in a box peice was kinda awesome and so was the stepping out painting (was that what it was, u c im no art expert). it was a really, really, super awesome, radical post. just this Q. what were U 4 halloween???????

The Redheaded Bandit said...

oh can u believe it i 4-got to mention something. ur skool bag was sssoooooooooo FABULOUS! itz plaid, vintage, and purple!!!! llllllllluuuuuuuuuvvvvvv it. did i mention i LLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE IT???????

The Redheaded Bandit said...

u seriously r a HIlarious blogger!!!!!!!

alexgirl said...

So good to have your crazy little self back in Blogtopia!
You always write such long posts that I don't even know where to begin with commenting on your genius!
*I love Arrested Development. That shizz is so effing hysterical, I can't get enough! There's a FAcebook group for it? I'm so there.
*I love that funky tacky jewelry. Gotta get me some.
*I've totally seen Kyra and Kevy Kev on the UWS too! They must live nearby.
*I've gotta try that Vinyl place. Countrygirl Citylife talks about it too. Us cool UWSiders gotta pass on all the good recommendations!

I feel like there was something else I was going to comment on... but i can't remember! Cute plaid bag. I just got a new bag from Delias and I love it. I can't go anywhere without it. It's not vintage, but it's tres cute.

Welcome back!!! Don't O.D. on coffee!!!

Bella said...

OMG!!! Finally you posted i thouhg you were like dead somewhere or off on a space mission or something....i love fiest...i love your sparkly shoes ;)))

AVA said...

your posts make me laugh! great job.. x

Brian Mandabach said...

whoah! who else can make the "mea culpa, I'm so lame intro" so fucking fun!

And actually, you're perfect for me, because I am soooooo busy that I don't read anybody's blogs, especially all the literary ones I should--but when I do look at blogs, I look at yours because I just can't help loving you like that.

Eritia said...

i seriously had a dream that you had a new post.

Cris Lazoru said...

God I hadn't realized how much I missed your posts until I read this one. Crazy goodness. I am such an Arrested Development fan/freak. I always do the Lucille slow blink. And your comment about Gossip Girl was perfection. Post more often.


Miu Miu's Atelier said...

....i know gossip girl is like the new drug every blog you go to there has to be at least one mention of's so insanely good and it sucks that they didn't give it on halloween night(i would have sent my cousin trick or treating for me to watch gg)

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

I love your writing, I agree on your list, it's fab!

Carolina Lange said...

Post again soon!!!!

Jay said...

OKay, granted this was a great long post, but now you're remiss again and we're all waiting here for the next installment!

Shallom (Editor) said...

aaaaaahhhhhhhh I am so happy you
re back, you have no idea how many times I've checked your blog to be horridly dissappointed to see the Barneys Coop post still at the top ;)

PS Oh you are oncrackbook? Wanna be my facebook friend? Add me! Search for Shallom Johnson...

PS You rock, wholeheartedly.

Shallom (Editor) said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Meg said...

Well well, if it isn't Emma rejoining the fray.
I no longer have to come back twice a week like some twitchy stalker to re-read your past entries and laugh like a lunatic, making my flatmates think I am a...lunatic, I guess.
I agree with you about Michelle Pfieffer, I think she's made a deal with the devil, nobody looks that good at 49 au natural, do they?
Cadbury's egg. Still being sold here, though I must confess, I hate them. I know, believe me when I first told my friends, I was a pariah for at least 2 hours. It was like being at an AA meeting, sort of like "Hi, I'm Meg and I don't have an addiction to Creme Eggs." And then everyone gasps while baby Jesus cries in the corner.
Anywho, I'm glad you're back is what I'm saying!

pinkmilk said...

Shallom, you have then ALL YEAR ROUND in Canada? (Creme Eggs, sorry forgot to specify in my excitment) How do you cope with the constant opportunities for chocolate pleasure? Pink milk Sarah and I used to play a highly amusing game called Suck it Til it Comes at school, by sucking rather than biting the Creme Egg until we got ot the creme. The first one there was the winner and could then cram the whole thing in her mouth at once if she so desired and run to the tuck shop for nother one. A whole lot of lunchtime fun.

Kirstie said...

cadbury creme eggs only come out around easter time, then they go back into hiding a month or so later. in australia at least and it is an australian company.