Thursday, June 14, 2007

So, when we're bored and feeling bitchy (ergo, a LOT of the time) my friend and I like to engage in rapid-fire IMs where we send each other pictures of the clothes and accessories we adore/abhor and exchange positive feedback/bile. For example, she could send me a picture of her younger sister's "My Boyfriend Is Out Of Town" T-shirt and I could snark back "What, attending the 'My Girlfriend Is A Style-Free Tramp With No Dignity' convention? Oh, BURN!" And I would probably write the "Oh, BURN!", because that's just who I am. Or I could send her a picture of these incredible green patent-leather Christian Louboutins, and she could say, "Sweet God, those are STUNNING, when you win the lottery you have to buy those immediately." And then we could have a five-hour conversation about what we would do if we actually won the lottery, and how much money would we have to automatically give to charity in this fantasy so that God will smile upon us at our act of altruism and actually someday let us WIN the real lottery. You know, like when those kids on daytime television donate all their fancy Christmas presents to the local homeless shelter because even though they're rich and privileged they're still selfless and noble and have a social conscience, and then it turns out some wealthy friend of the family is completely blown away by the kid's act of generosity and buys the kid like sixty NEW Christmas presents and they get left under the tree anonymously, and the kid is all "Wow, there really IS a Santa Claus!" And the parents exchange knowing looks, and chuckle and ruffle the kid's hair.
By the way, I would just like to state that this is not how it works in real life. If you donate your Christmas presents to the needy kids' toy drive...those presents are gone. Nobody is going to buy you a state-of-the-art computer and a mountain bike and a chocolate fountain as a reward for your good deed.
Anyway. What was my point? Oh right...
So the other night my friend and I were engaging in this IM discussion. We started out making fun of the shiny gold bike shorts (!?!) over at the American Apparel website, then gradually worked our way over to the canvas ankle boots (designed to swallow your calves and plunge you firmly into cankle territory, if you don't already reside there) at But then, a horrible thing happened. I came across these pink skinny jeans from Urban Outfitters. Of course, my instinct reaction was nausea followed by mocking. But as I attached the picture into the conversation and prepared to send it to her, an awful thing started happening. I began to...maybesortofkindof like them.
I will now transcribe (more or less) what happened after I pasted the picture in.

Me- So what do you think of these pants?
Her- Oh my God. It looks like someone painted two fire hydrants fuchsia, hollowed them out and stuck legs in them (Ed.- it doesn't make sense, but then, if you look at the pants and blink, it kind of does).
Me- But you don't even think they're kind of cute?
Her- Surely you jest.
Me- Je ne jest pas. I think they would work kind of well with my funky pumps? No? And that black shirt?
Her- No.
Me- But how about in a different color, like blue? They have them in blue and light green, too.
Her- Do you actually not see the front-crotch-crease camel toe thing they're doing to the model? What is up with Urban Outfitters and camel toe lately (Ed.- I showed her the picture of the romper from my last post)?
Me- But you really don't think they'd be cute AT ALL? Just for when I'm bored with jeans?
Her- Who are you?

So, after that I went off into a little bit of a huff, as I am wont to do (I'm a sensitive girl). However, after careful consideration I realized that these pants are Those Pants. The ones that look relatively innocent and cute in the store, like you'd see them and think "Hmmm, those would inject some funky color into my wardrobe without making me look like a Crayola", but then when you try them on, your ass instantly becomes the size of the Grand Canyon and your thighs are twin giant Sequoias and you have to stand there miserably in the dressing room trying to sluice yourself out of them while gorgeous thin girls prance around in the same exact pants looking like the proverbial Carefree Skinny Bitch. It's not just that they wouldn't look good on me (although I don't think they would)- I'm just not sure if they're that cute in general. I don't know, though- they might be really nice on those super-slim, waify body-type girls. Feedback? Don't worry, I haven't bought them or anything, so you won't be offending me. Bitch away! Or alternately, tell me if you love them. But the bitching is always more fun.

Speaking of bitching-

I hate these shoes. I'm sorry if you own them (you probably do, since everyone in the English-speaking world appears to). But I hate them. In fact, I hate them so much that I have personified them.
If these Tory Burch flats were a person, they would be an Upper-East-Side-of-Manhattan version of Regina George. They would have violently blonde hair, and toast-colored skin straight out of the Clinique Radiant Bronze bottle, and their cashmere sweaters and calfskin stilettos would cost more than the average down-payment of a small three-bedroom house in Westchester County. They would spend so much time frantically stabbing at their Crackberry, you'd think it was providing them with oxygen. They would laugh at you, and whisper things to their bitchy brunette friend, and date milquetoast guys from good families and intern at upper-crust fashion publications. Le sigh.
I've seen the shoe phenomenon before, but is it really necessary for every girl in New York City to own these shoes? If I see one more toe-medallion, I don't know what I might do but I promise you it will not be good and ieui2jcfhe89qruw9djh8934239jchr7eqwryeiureqw8ruewijiojejdshjssaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...
*Breathes deeply*
I'm sorry.
I'll be fine.
To get my mind off this very pressing and disturbing shepidemic (shoe epidemic. It's been a long day, okay?), I will be posting some pictures of stuff that I would give a firm online thumbsies-upsies to.

What is it about this Temperley London dress that makes me crave it so? It's so simple, yet it looks like it would befit a simple, beautiful milkmaid who wears it out to collect the day's milk with braided hair (only not gross trendoid Sienna Miller braids, real braids) and a glowing smile, making the hearts of cute lederhosen-bedecked farmhands everywhere churn for her. I just want to get my inner Fifi Lapin on and wear it with some funky wedges. The better to yodel and climb mountains with.

I am going to share with you all a story about a young girl of perhaps eight or nine years of age who owned a pair of cow-printed pants from Benetton. The young girl treasured her cow-printed pants above all other earthly possessions, so much so that she desired to wear them with everything, from her puffy Land's End vests to her The Children's Place sherbert-colored turtlenecks to her "My Grandma Went To Barbados And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt" shirt. Please don't judge me, sweet readers, but- the young girl was me, and the Benetton pants were mine. It is not something I am proud of, but merely a fact. Personally, I don't understand how I went through two years of my life in those pants without at least ONE person shouting out "I could've used a little more cowbell!" or "You're gonna want that COWBELL on the track!" If I saw someone in cow-printed pants, the temptation would be too great. I eventually stopped wearing them, after repeated suggestions from loved ones that they were just not...well, not quite right. But they had great sentimental value. You know on "What Not To Wear", when the toothy bitch and the bitchy, somewhat awesome queen are raiding closets, and the fashion victim du jour is all, "No! Not my stretchy cougar-print tracksuit with the rhinestone enamel! I was wearing that when I met my boyfriend! It has PERSONAL VALUE!" That's what my pants were like. I was just a wee young thing, but I implicitly understood the value of a Favorite Pair Of Pants, even an ill-advised cow-printed pair.
The relevance of this story to the shoes, right. When I first saw these Stella McCartney wedges, my heart started to beat faster as I thought "Oh my God, are they COW-PRINT?" Alas, they are simply black-and-white floral print, and therefore bear little resemblance to my Late, Great Cow-Print Benetton Trousers. However, they are wickedly amazing, cow-print or not, and I want to wear them with a simple white cotton sundress and look all effortless and chic. I think they would be a fitting tribute to The Pants That Got Away.

This "Journalist" dress from Modcloth may look drab, dull, even frumpy. HOWEVER. It is nipped in the waist and the little keyhole opening at the top, combined with the sexy silky belt-facsimile, make it the epitome of Le Sex. If I for some reason decide to become a journalism major, I will wear this dress to class and feel very film-noir. In fact, even if I decide to major in pancakes at The University Of Nothing, I will still wear this dress ALL THE TIME. For it is a jolly good dress, for it is a jolly good dress, for it is a jolly good dre-ess, which nobody can deny...

There is only one passable reaction to shoes like these Miu Mius, and it is "Hot damn" followed by a sharp intake of breath whilst one admires their glories. They are both sparkly and shiny and T-strap and New-Years'-Eve and silvery and they are actually making me a little bit weak in the knees. I want to be married- and buried, as a matter of fact- in these shoes. I want to MARRY these shoes. I want to surgically attach them to my feet. You think I'm exaggerating? I will go and GET A SURGEON RIGHT NOW. And also, I'll need about three zillion dollars to buy the shoes themselves. And to pay the medical bills.

Gaah. Gaah! I must have this dress. It's one of those rare items of clothing that would appeal to both me and my mother. It looks like a sexed-up version of something that American Girl doll would wear. You know, the one with the grosgrain hair ribbon and the unwittingly chic flat velvet hat? Samantha, I think it was. I never liked her much. I liked the feisty one with red hair. Actually, I think she would probably wear this dress nicely as well. It would go great with that hair. I've always wanted red hair, and been so jealous of redheads- I once attempted to color my hair a L'Oreal Pulse shade of "Cherry", but let's just say that was not a time which anybody really needs to remember.

Pucci swirly cardigan-coat. Need I say more? Okay, I'll just say this- with dark gray opaque tights and black boots. Le fin.

Insert your own obligatory hacky joke about "I'm seeing red!" or "Red scare!" or "Scarlet fever"! I think we- and by we, I mean the fashion magazine industry- needs to come up with some better color-themed cliches. How about- "Red, you go to my head"? I think that's from an old M&Ms commercial, actually. God, this advertising business is no easy feat.
I very much want to be the kind of girl who wears red monkey earrings and ballet flats, maybe with an LBD or just a plain old boring pair of jeans. And I definitely, DEFINITELY think these two items should be sold together. Then there could be some embarrassing, hacky joke about "Double trouble!" or "Double the fun!" God, I hate the modern world of advertising sometimes.

Being somewhat anal-retentive and obsessive and controlling about clothing, a few years ago I went so far as to devise for myself a Rainy-Day Outfit- purty flowered hippie green tank, dark jeans, awesome Wellington boots, string of faux costume-jewelry pearls. However, I could never find the right umbrella...until today. C'est merveilleux, non?

Phwoarrr. Marc Jacobs, you incorrigible man, you. These shoes are the most perfect flats I have ever seen in all my born days. It's a little disturbing, how easily I am unhinged by a good pair of shoes. Especially ones that actually look like you could wear them without feeling like a tiny army of elves was digging a pickaxe deep into your heel and winding up sitting in the corner in a comfortable chair by the end of the evening, swearing like a fisherman and holding rapidly melting ice to your swollen feet in a most unladylike manner. Not that this happens to me. Much.

This Biba bishop-sleeve printed smock dress seems like it's one of those little dresses that look fabulous on skinny little sylphs, but do odd things to those endowed with a larger chest and stomach and whatnot. Still. It is perfect for wanton indulgence and basking in the sunshine listening to the Beatles.

No, your eyes do not deceive you. It is a Devo wallet. Whip it. Whip it good. When a problem comes along. You must whip it. Before the cream sits out too long. You must whip it. When something's going wrong. You must whip it. Now whip it. Into shape.

THE MUSIC, TV AND MOVIE CORNER- I have sinned. The other night I was sitting idly in front of my TV, and I found myself sitting through sixty full minutes of...brace yourself, boys and girls...ONE TREE HILL (cue the horror-movie thunder-and-lightning effects). It is disturbingly bad, and I find Chad Michael Murray as well as That Other Guy On The Show Who's Not Chad Michael Murray to be boring and vaguely unattractive, but there was kind of a sick fascination about it, like I HAD to find out what it was in order to loathe it appropriately. I also viewed a classic- Pretty in Pink- on the elliptical at the gym tonight. I think everybody was actually pretty freaked out by how my face looked when Molly Ringwald cut that f/n dress up into a sack. I mean, why? Just...why? Why, Molly Ringwald? Why? Why would one take a perfectly pretty- if overly pink- dress and unleash scissor hell upon it? Did you think it made you look good, Molly Ringwald? Because I'll tell you the truth, Molly Ringwald- it made you look like you were trying to hide a scoliosis brace under layers of pink fabric. And while I'm as much of a Deenie fan as any other girl, and I have nothing but utmost respect for scoliosis sufferers and Judy Blume characters in general, I'm pretty sure that's not the look you were going for, the whole scoliosis thing. So, in conclusion- shut up, Molly Ringwald. It's one thing to cut up your dad's old T-shirt in the hopes that you will concoct a stunning and avant-garde minidress and you can tell everyone offhandedly that you made it yourself from an old tee "lying around the house" and actually end up ruining a perfectly good tee. It's another to destroy a prom dress that doesn't belong to you. In non-John-Hughes-related news, I have discovered Goldfrapp and have been playing "Ooh La La" at top volume for twenty-three hours straight. My neighbors are probably starting to get pissed. Well, you know what, aging hippies? I have to listen to YOU blast AC/DC ALL DAY, DON'T I?

SIGHTINGS- Six hundred pairs of Tory Burch flats. And the demise of individuality and style as we know it. Also, I have an Overheard In New York worthy of the website. I was in Ricky's for sparkly false eyelashes (don't ask) and I saw a girl hold up a "Hebrew School Dropout" T-shirt and ask her friends "Am I Jewish enough for this shirt?" And one of the friends shook her head sadly and responded, "No." You can't make this shit up. Ooh, and some girl came into Cool Vintage Store wearing an excellent little veiled hat. It wasn't aggressively Carrie-Bradshaw-ooh-look-at-me; it was just sort of quietly amazing.

CURRENT ATTIRE- Feeling pretty good with my outfit in a pair of green opaque wool tights (not Peter Pan green or lime, sort of Kelly green), black flat slouchy boots, and a long-sleeved pale-green-and-white top under a short vintage black BCBG dress. It sounds weird, but I think it's cute. And it's been cold as hell here lately, so I can get away with the constant tights.

So, exams are over! And I somehow passed everything! I know my posting's been sporadic, but I'll work on it. And yes, I learned the definition of that word from Clueless. When are you people going to figure out that I learned everything worth knowing from Clueless?

Ciao, Roma.

P.S. Lipstick Lady, I'm sorry most of your blog got deleted! :^( That is a little sad emoticon man being sad for you.


The Queen said...

Well that's lucky. I read this post at 1:11 AM, a minute after you posted it. And amongst other things, it took me 14 minutes to read it.

My are fashion queen. My sister's fashion is so much different than mine...i think i've learned everything useful from you. Can you believe my mother and my sister tried to shove my wide hips and never-seen-the-light-of-day stomach into an atrocity...i don't even know how to describe it, but let's just say I felt like a russian whore or something.

i'm in love with pretty much everything in this post...unfortunately i only have 70 dollars...what do you think I should invest in, honestly? it's burning a hole in my pocket.

The Queen said...

BTW...One Tree Hill...*GAG*!

The Queen said...

Crotch-kicking? I dunno, I'm slow on the uptake. Is that new slang for shitty or something?

italianagirl651 if this comment thing gets irritating.

blushing apples said...

why is miu miu responsable for making the cutest shoes? and i want a great "rainy day" outfit! and a clear umbrella to go along with it :D

the lipstick lady said...

thankyou for the sad emoticon, somebody feels my pain.
you know what, eventually most of the blogging world will abandon their blogs, and when that happens we should have a big reunion on a boat and it will involve cake.
dude, what is going on here-
dylan= you
dylan= me
molly the american girl doll= you liked
molly the american girl doll= I HAD
cherry red pulse incident= happened to you
cherry red pulse inciddent= happened to ME (so many times...)
great minds think alike, eh?
and I have to say, the whole cool jeans that would look so cool with blah blah and blah thing has happened to me. EVERYONE in London is wearing cheap mondays, and why not? they are exrtremely cheap! so I went down to urban outfitters and saw that they only had them in such impossible sizes as waist 24 length 36, so I tried on the best I could find- waist 28 length 34, and realised that while they made maya look AH-mazing, it is virtually impossible for people with asses to wear them. it made it look like my ass went down to the backs of my knees. not to mention i couldn't get the fly zipped up.

SandDancer said...

I did hovered a bit over those jeans in real life yesterday even though I know I would need to be about 15 years younger and 15 sizes smaller to wear them. They have a certain allure.
Luckily I pulled away before an embarrassing mistake could be made.

I like all of your other picks too except the Temperley dress which I hate on moral grounds - she's my friend's cousin and a vile character, so no matter how pretty her dresses are, I feel obliged to despise them.

Carolina Lange said...

You and your friend have a fun way to cheer up! Great idea! As allways, love your pics, amazing shoes! That Marc Jacobs is so cute!

Touche19 said...

"I've always wanted red hair, and been so jealous of redheads"

there's this one chick at my school who has the most GORGEOUS red hair. Not the frizzy creepy type, but the silky smooth, straight, natural-beauty type. Whenever I see her in the halls I just want to ask her what her secret is.....

another fab post dahling

CountryGirl_CityLife said...

I hate your posts, you make me want to go further into debt with all the luscious pictures. It's not fair!!!!! and I am so giving away a portion of my non-existent lottery winnings to better the world (and myself). negative on the pink pants, they have potential in vivid blue but pants should never be pink, gross, unless you are a wee one. The Tory shoes are cute but who would pay her ridiculous price for them since they are the latest craze ala mc hammer pants and there are a million knockoffs. Hopefully they aren't here to stay like Uggs.

mary said...

i also lusted after red hair all my life! and for a brief time i dyed my hair red. i even went through a phase when i wanted fire-engine red hair like in that one britney spears video.

jungle dream pagoda said...

Since I injured my knee in Hair awhile back ,I have only recently in the past 2 weeks resumed regular workouts(le oof!).Therefore,I have been using my skinny jeans as more leggings really,so as long as the offending possibility of C.T. is elliminated (and ,as I have found, it is a wonderful way to cover my soon to be back to normal Sequoias),I say choose whatever color you think would perk up your wardrobe!
You definitely win my "blogspot sound bite of the week award" for "my girlfriend is a Style dignity" convention?"

sarissa said...

ever since my sister beat me to inding out dumbledore's sorry fate in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, I've known I'm a slow reader, but jesus that took me a while! I don't mind, what the hell else am i going to do now that my EXAMS ARE FUCKING OVER! sorry to drop the f-bomb there but i am raptured with joy, in spite of the fact that i PROBABLY just failed le francais in some terrible terrible punishment from god for ceremoniously stealing all the signs, posters and notices and lunch trays I could find lying around my school.

i comment better than i post, but speaking of le francais, the only word i can use to describe your post is... marveilleux
okay in spite of the fact that there was SO MUCH you wrote about, i figure even if you didn't, you'd prolly still manage to make me laugh out loud in complete regina-george (sorry, i get the impression from le post that you hate her, and while YES I HATE the shoes- but would LURRRRRVE some chanel ones slightly similar but medallionless, but I LOVE her! and find that in my aging years as the oldest year at my school, I and my group of friends seem to become more and more morphistically like her.. i flatter myself.. don't hate me) anyway regina george laughing-because-its-funny-but-really-jealous-and-plotting-crazy-revenge sort of way. although i'm not sure RG would ever be jealous of anybody.. but yes, you make me LARFF (said in the goldie lookin chain welsh accent, yes)

i'm alarmed. why am i alarmed, emma? because OF THE TROUSERS. or pants, as you say. I HAD COW PRINT ONES!!! they were from Mini Boden and I loved them with all my heart and wore them with Monsoon pretty cardigans and shoes from Oilily and I adored them.. I never ahd a thing for matching, but WOAH,,, i thought I was the only one. I should also point out that I was desperadoes to be a redhead, but a NICE shade, because they aren't all nice, and I bet if I was red (i have it in me but it's blonde and not raging, if ugm) i wouldn't care about all the 'GINNNGER MINGER' chants I'd endure, those chants I endured three years ago on two separate occasions- first the time when me and my verrrry blonde friend sophie did a home-brunette fandango and went very very orange, secondly (oh, I never learn from my mistakes) when I wanted to be redhaired for sure, just like Natalia Vodianova on the advert, and bought L'oreal Pulse (funking weird, right?!!) except mine was in Copper Fizz, and not cherry..

je suis enamoured with the pucci coat, it reminds me of one I had as a wee'un, except that was oilily and had apples on and was really different, so I don't know why.
The earrings are kaaaayooooot in spite of my longtime fear of monkeys (theyre not cute, theyre evil, they stole my peanuts when i was 5 in indonesia, so there)
the umbrella is HOT, and god, i think that if marc jacobs wasn't in rehab I'd hop on a plane and like, marry him borat-style ('agreement not necessary') \

your am i jewish enough thing is HILARIOUS.
I learnt that word from clueless.. 'try to use it in a sentance' 'okay, cher, I absolutely will. even though you are no longer cher and have a strange mouth and currently star in a new tv show about matchmaking or something which is alright because i sometimes see it on E4 after Big Brother's Big Mouth, and the lovely guy who does the adverts is well hilaire on the adverts for your show. I will use sporadically today. even though everyone will know where i learnt it. because as IF I would ever hang out with anyone who hadn't seen that movie AT LEAST 11 times.'

as ever, fabuloso

Frasypoo said...

Fantastic post as always.All last week whenever i had a sad moment I would go back and read the bit about the girl with bangs in the rompers and it would make me laugh and everything was rosy again!
Are you sure you dont write a column for a mag/newspaper you are so talented !!
The umbrella was so cute.Loved your picks

-ciao bella- said...

haha- fab post, you are absolutely hilarious. i am drooling over those miu miu shoes right now, i'm not even kidding. those are probably the coolest things ever= sparkly + shiny + silver + has jewels... ahh if only

LADY said...

You make me laugh so much miss Emma! I loved this post. However if you buy those pink jeans I don't think we can be friends anymore.

And One Tree Hill? Oh Emma.....

Fashionyou's Molly said...

Haha. Dont worry, i hate those shoes too. So many people wear them and i think they are hideous.

Also, dont be afraid to buy those coloured jeans. They take some getting used to but are rather cool, even i admit!!

A. said...

Freddie Mercury

And, I must say, how DO you type so much on every post? It's incredible, I can never think of enough to say!!

A. said...

WHERE is that purple dress from?? It's absolutely magnificent!!!!

jayne said...

i adore those louboutins, i posted on them in feb!

i see what you mean by those pants, i had the exacty same reaction you did- fug to hmmm, i could kickass in those jeans! then of course the "only the anorexic girl at the gym could fit into those & even though she's anorexic, still look hot, ewww"

love the dresses, the marc flats (he must be god, i swear!), and i think the burch flats make everyone look 65yr olds, with chanel suits, getting out of the town cars to sip tea, ewww. that or they just seem like people trying to be all classic like audrey-style, but audrey would probably look at them in disgust and use them for beach shoes haha

-S said...

i too do not know why people like the tory burch shoes. i find them atrocious. and the temperly dress? i love it.

Mrs Fashion said...

It's June and I've finally got round to slightly, maybe, totally wanting a pair of coloured jeans too.
What is wrong with us?!
Mrs F x

Eritia said...

hahahahahaha. the american girl doll comment made me laugh, because when me and my best friend sarah used to play dolls, samantha was always the one who was like this little bratty snobby devil and a bitch to all the other girls, and we always like, killed her or something in the end. (but I love that dress) and I as always, love your blog

Bella said...

Hmmm.....let me address the issue of the fuschia pants...i have been lusting after said pair in red for like one billion years but i finally figured out that they make my legs look like flippin vienna sausages roasting...not a hot look....and then let me move on to the 2nd part in the 2nd longest post ever....maybe...those black and white shoes are truly my love and make me want to throw myself on the floor in worship...your cow print pants remind me of a stretchy 2 peice lime green fako snakeskin jumpsuit that i wore religiously from the ages 6 to 8,it was extremely HOT monkey earings make me wanna get my ears peirced again...i wanna be cool and where them...and the Marc Jacobs shoes are the most adorable things a little cupcake i wanna eat...too bad they wouldnt fit my stupid big feet *sob* loved the post :)))

Crazy Eddie said...

I love how you can discuss and fantasize about winning the Lottery to purchase those shoes, and then drift into what you would do if you in fact did win...

Wow, that was one of the longest posts I've ever seen. That was the equivalent of what I would post over a month's time. You go girl.


Lola said...

Love your blog, and those Marc Jacobs flats! God, it's like most of the time that man is after my heart.

Sure let's definately exchange links.

fashionistakay said...

I may or may not have seen those Tory Burch flats, but I too do not like them. Yet I am totally willing to respect people who do like them. And if it makes you feel better, those skinny pants do look good, not quite me though( I'm more for the dark skinnies). I really like your taste in style, those Marc Jacobs falts, gorge!

Alyssa said...

Oh wow.
At first I went, "Those pink skinny-pant thingies are really horrid." And then I found myself staring at the picture, and staring at the picture, and then staring at the picture some more...and now I really want a teal pair. Like, VERY badly. Thank you for corrupting my mind. :D

And those shoes are EVERYWHERE and EVERY GIRL in my town owns them. Funny thing is, they all look somewhat like the personified version of the shoe you described.

Lastly, where did you find such a fabulous umbrella? I have been looking FOR SO LONG. I hate being caught in the rain with my stupid grey peice-o-crapola. I must be stylish whilst being drizzled on.

Okay...sounded so wrong.

But where? :O

- Alyssa

SICK. said...

yeah actually i do love those jeans.
i don't know if i would buy them in fuchsia, but now that i think of it, maybe i would.
i'm coming down with the debate disease, i had it yesterday at american apparel.

damn you disease.

The Stiletto Effect said...

you have been TAGGED!


SICK. said...

you might say you want red hair now, but i wouldn't mind having dark brunette or white blonde.
beat me for saying this but: i would almost rather have that hair than mine. because white blondes and dark browns always look so much better with clothing i find. maybe it's just me with this dilemma.

but still, i wouldn't change my hair.
and plus it's not really red per se, it's more of a strawberry blonde?

etoilee8 said...

Okay, okay, I admit it. I did like those Tory Burch shoes for a hot second sometime last year. But after having relocated to New York. . .I am so RELIEVED I never spent my hard earned cash on that. . .

hellocello said...

ok the flats with the gold pirates of the carribean coins on the toes are god awful.

the pink skinny jeans are god awesome.


my empty closet said...

oh how i missed these posts...i was so busy but now im back and laughing my ass off..those pink pants? i want the chikadee yellow ones from the same collection. but i 'd get the pink ones too. there so very pink that its practically impossible not to eventually come around to them !

Jennifer said...

I'm totally after a pair of colored skinnies they look so cute. I hear payless is selling tory burch knock offs might be worth investigating. great post as usual;)

molly said...

you are the queen of snarky wit!

i just died over the "boyfriend out of town" comment.
and the cowbell
and pretty much everything out of your mouth (er, blogging hands...which i supposed would be both of them)

i see the appeal of the pants...sort of...
i saw a pair of bright blue zebra striped pants, actually on someones blog and they looked so great

never seen one tree hill, but i agree on cmm being quite unattractive
hes soo boring to look at

Brittany said...

i actually like those pink pants. =)

Meg said...

I heart you.

Meg said...

PS. In like 30 years, if neither of us is married, will you marry me? I'd ask you for the near future but I'm holding out for GGBernal. I think he'll ask me anyday now.

Meg said...

PPS. No to the pink pants. No, no, no, no.

Curiosity.Killer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Curiosity.Killer said...

Very impressive! From Marc Jacobs to Pucci... quite impressive indeed.

Re: the money one wins with lottery -- charity is a yes yes -- kids christmas presents -- yes yes yes -- and the kid is all "Wow, there really IS a Santa Claus!" And the parents exchange knowing looks, and chuckle and ruffle the kid's hair...

That is hilari-fabulous!

Elle said...

I laughed when you said you and your friend send "rapid I'Ms'" about clothes and give feedback I bet the convos are hilarious you should so post them, btw I love those urban outfitters skinnies

maudrey said...

oh my goodness zoe and i both bought hot pink skinny jeans and NEVER wear them but love the IDEA of them

Greta said...

so i just have to say that last year i dyed my hair the same color with the same l'oreal crap that you used and had similar results. i think my hair has finally reached its natural shade, though now i can barely remember what that was.

i also had a pair of pants similar to your cow-print ones. they were shiny gold and i loved them. now, i just want to cry whenever i see pictures of me wearing them in sixth grade.

loved the post, by the way!

Greta said...

also, i believe i saw or read something about avril lavigne in hot pink jeans. just something to consider.

sarissa said...

hey, i tagged you
but you've kind of already been tagged.. oh well! x

Pippa said...

did you really write all that on one day? i am also starting to like those pink pants by the way. thanks for visiting my ramblings.

pippa x

p.s ggbernal is mine. hands off!

Brian Mandabach said...

You might be right about the skinny jeans, they do look sort of attractive in the picture, though I want a close up so I can check out the crotch. (just so I understand what you are talking about.) You should try some on. But I saw jeans get higher and skinnier throughout my youth, and I hate to see it happen again. I love a wide flared leg and a tight low waist. Not on myself, of course. I'm not Keith Urban.

molly said...

i was never a fan of redheads either until i met this gorgeous girl with the most amazing style and bright red hair
i have a huge girlcrush on her

thanks for reading my shakespeare blog! hahaha its an english project
though im the biggest english nerd EVER

Alison said...

Oh. My. God.
Those Marc Jacobs flats are a gift from heaven.
If they were a person they would be... well I don't know I'm not good at personification like you but trust me, they would NOT be Regina George.

ps. I thought I was the only person who said 'thumbsies upsies'! My friends are vair unsensitive and always make fun of my cool( ish) words

Jack X said...

Finally, someone who writes with a distinct voice and tone. When I read "as I am wont to do," it made my day. That is my favorite phrase that people don't understand when spoken or written.

missx said...

I have not been visiting like I should be. Anyway- One Tree Hill- I watched it the same night you did! Great minds think alike, no? Is it just me or is something wrong with Chad Michael Murray's hair? Anyway, I was going to say something clever about those Urban skinnies, but I forgot.

Oh, and those Tory Burch flats need to die. I actually go to school on the UES (not a private school! thank god I can wear whatever the hell I want), and I can't walk 2 blocks without seeing someone in these. I don't mind so much when they're just black and sensible, since I've heard that they are very very comfy, but I hate the metallic ones! It's like people were flipping through 2 month old magazines, and said, "oooh metallics! I am so trendy and fashionable!" and then said, "how do I OWN this trend in my own UES label whoring way? I know! Metallic Tory Burch flats. Whoo hoo!"

although I am being a bit prejudiced. It's not only UES-ers who wear these atrocities, all of the city seems to be swept up into the Tory Burch mothership. People think it's not label whoring since there's no actual label, per se, and thus they think they are being subtly classy and luxurious. But everyone knows what they are.

Dilemma said...

That's not fair, you have awesome friends. My friends would never do something like that with me. Your life is far, far more interesting than mine.

And hey, I like the pink jeans! Then again, I'm wearing pink zebra print leggings right now...but it's not like I'm going anywhere, you know?

fashionista said...

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED- check out my latest post for more info


Geisha said...

Since your blog is awesome, I'm tagging you!
If you don't know about the game go to my blog:


Christine said...

Yes, love your blog! I started reading and your taste is EERILY similar to mine, and I saw those red barrel o' monkeys earrings and I knew I liked you, even though your writing is MUCH more entertaining :) I'll be back!

Isabel said...

Not gonna lie - I like those hot pink pants. But then again, I have spent time in the mental hospital...

(Kidding! Totally kidding. I still like the pants, but I've never been to a looney bin.)

WAT said...

Wear the smock dress while listening to The Beatles? AHAHAHAHAH! Looks like something they wore during that I Am The Walrus clip!

ambika said...

Can you not post pictures of your wants because they end up being my wants and I do *not* need another dress in my closet.

When I saw Payless had done a version of those Tory Burch flats, they officially became the Juicy track suit of shoes.

You're awesome.

kf said...

fucking tori burch. everywhere. i am sad to say i posted those shoes on my blog four months ago.

i suck.